Dallas Air Traffic Controller Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R." Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised !!" Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 822 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R." Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great !!" Pause: Static............. Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!" Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?" Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!! Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear?