A young man from the country went off to college. He decided to major in English. After a few weeks at college, he went home for a weekend visit. He and his girlfriend went out Saturday night, and later went to a cemetery to Park. After being parked for a while, they took a pause in the action. The combination of the moon light coming through the clouds and a slight breeze made for some eerie shadows dancing around the tombstones. The girl looked across the cemetery and said, "Ain't it gruesome!" The English major college boy replied, "You really should say, hasn't it GROWN some." _______________________________ Two buddies, Tony and Steve, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Steve throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!" Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill." So they stay for another couple of hours and get even more drunk. Eventually Steve rolls into home and his Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My gosh, you're disgusting!" Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Steve says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin! Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks.. But thiss other guy got ssick on me. He had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!" Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks." "Oh, yeah....I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.