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Country advice

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Feb 2, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

    Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

    Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb but how well you bounce.

    Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.

    Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

    A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

    Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

    Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

    Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

    Meanness doesn't happen overnight.

    To know how country folks are doing look at their barns and not their houses.

    Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.

    Teachers , Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

    Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

    Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

    Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.

    Don't corner something meaner than you.

    You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.

    Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.

    It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    Don't go hunting with a guy named Chug-A-Lug.

    You can't unsay a cruel thing.

    Every path has some puddles.

    Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.

    The best sermons are lived, not preached.

    Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

    The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery and Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers and Politicians without creating a hostile work environment.