Correctness Update

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by flyover, Aug 26, 2018.

  1. flyover

    flyover

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    Location:
    Western Kansas
    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, people who live in or are from northeast Alabama, north Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia and Southwestern Virginia will no longer be referred to as
    'HILLBILLIES'.
    You must now refer to them as
    APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

    And furthermore,
    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1 She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
    BREASTED AMERICAN. '

    2 She is not 'EASY' - She is
    'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

    3 She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
    'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

    4 She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
    'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

    5 She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
    ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

    6 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
    ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
    'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

    2 He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
    ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

    3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
    ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

    4 He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
    'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

    5 He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
    RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

    6 It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
    'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'.
     
    taffbanjo and Atomic Punk like this.