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Cop???

Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by TXPoPo, Jan 5, 2010.

  1. TXPoPo

    TXPoPo

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    Forgive me for throwing some of my personal life out here, but I just had to share.

    Yesterday evening over dinner my daughters boyfriend (who is a very good kid by the way) expressed his interest in going into Law Enforcement. My daughter quickly jumped in the conversation to express her opinion that she would NEVER want him to be a cop. My wife also quickly backed her up on that. With my daughter having been raised in a "cop family" I was kinda taken back. I thought she would be proud of the fact he had such an interest. I have to say I was. The issue and her statements weighed heavily on my mind and this morning (day off) I e-mailed my wife while she was at work and asked her about her thoughts as my daughters and her reaction had kinda bothered me. This was her response. All I can say is that it dang near brought a tear to my eye. I never really knew they understood so much. So here is to the families of cops who deal with us after we deal with the world we work in. They don't get enough credit.


    We do spend a lot of time thinking and talking about it. Even if we didn’t talk about it, she is a smart kid and she is a cop’s child…how could she not know and understand these things that most adults never even consider?

    • We know that every time you leave the house, you will be in dangerous situations for the next 12 hours. We try hard not to focus on that, but the thought is always in the back of our minds.
    • We know that in those 12 hours, you will receive many adrenaline dumps and your body will have to process all of the associated chemical reactions. We know that this is a contributing factor to health concerns.
    • We know that your body has to go through many tests daily whether that is sitting in a car for long periods, fighting, running, chasing, and the instant change from one physical response to another. This is hard on anyone’s body.
    • We know that you endure many situations that are so unspeakable that you can not even discuss them with your coworkers, let alone your family, so you deal with them in your nightmares.
    • We know that the world that is presented to you on a daily basis tends to block out the beauty and goodness that exists all around, and leaves you to experience life in a shadow of what it could be if you didn’t know all the gritty details.
    • We know that for 12 hours your mind has to be 100% on alert and the stress / tension of maintaining that constant vigilance is exhausting
    • We know that in many ways, you are sacrificing little bits of yourself; mind, body, and soul every day in order to make one corner of the world a little safer and more bearable for the people there.
    I am ashamed that we have not made sure that you know how proud we are of you and how honorable we know you and your profession are. We are extremely proud, but knowing what it requires, the sacrifices that have to be made, how could we want that for anyone, or ask it of anyone? The decision to be a police officer, is not just a decision; it is the determination to sacrifice yourself for “the greater good”. Knowing what we know, it feels like a natural response to want to warn someone away from something that they couldn’t possibly understand. Just like warning a child from stepping in the street with oncoming traffic…it’s a reflex to want to protect them from danger.

    **** and I need to explain our reaction to *** and encourage him to explore and learn all he can before he makes a big decision. If he is serious, maybe he could talk to you a about it. The decision is his to make, but to be fair, if he does make that decision, **** will have to make the decision whether she is willing or able to tackle the role of police officer’s partner. That is also an honorable profession, and one that I find to be very important, but it is not for sissies. Certain professions require that the spouse / partner assume a particular role or eventually the marriage, the profession, or both will crumble. This is a major, life altering topic that should only be addressed with the greatest care and consideration.

    I hope that explains the wife/daughter reaction and our understanding of and pride in what you do.


    LOVE YOU!
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2010
  2. Kadetklapp

    Kadetklapp Methberry PD

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    Good stuff.

    Earlier today my wife called my cell phone right before I went downstairs to serve a warrant on a parolee. She started blabbing about putting me in her pocket or in a box under the bed. I was like "WTF, over?"

    She went on to say that she was being cute, she wanted to put me in her pocket and not let me leave the house.

    She had just read about the court officer killed in Las Vegas.
     

  3. bci21984

    bci21984

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    love you too,


    had to do it, its a joke here at work.

    i started life out as a cop's kid, and i now have a two year old, and starting my 6th year in law enforcement, i understand why my dad always tried to talk me into being a fireman, if public service is what i wanted.

    its good youve got an understanding family.
     
  4. RussP

    RussP Super Moderator Moderator

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    Thanks for sharing... :thumbsup:
     
  5. Gangrel

    Gangrel

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    It's good to hear that she has clearly put some deep thought into the issue. I think my wife tends to just put it out of her mind. Though I've tried to get her to mentally prepare for things that might happen, I have failed, for the most part.
     
  6. Kadetklapp

    Kadetklapp Methberry PD

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    My wife was my fiance at the time my dad was killed in the line of duty and so she took her medicine (as well as I) about what she potentially faced in the course of our marriage.
     
  7. b52ace

    b52ace NRA Patron

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    Thanks for sharing! You have a special life partner. Hug her and your daughter tonite for the love they genuinely have for you.
     
  8. volsbear

    volsbear IWannaBeSedated Lifetime Member

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    That's really cool that she recognizes all this. I've steered a few youngin's away from law enforcement, but mainly because it can be so grueling on the psyche. There's a reason why things like divorce and substance dependence are so much more frequent in law enforcement.
     
  9. luv2brode

    luv2brode

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    thats good stuff
    my wife has had to deal with this stuff as an infantrymans wife, now this, when am i gonna cut her and the kids a break?
     
  10. Dragoon44

    Dragoon44 Unfair Facist Lifetime Member

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    I have to admit my wife was very cool about me being LE. but I was LE when I met her.

    Still she was never one of the sitting at home worrying types. The first shooting I got involved in the dept phoned her and started the conversation by telling her not to get upset that I was fine and that I had been in a shooting. Her response was, "why they making such a big deal about it?"

    But then she had taken police standards and had riden with the dept. quite a bit before we were married.

    After I retired she told me. "You know I never worried about you on the job, not because I didn't care. but after seeing you in action I never thought anyone could ever take you down. I knew you could take care of yourself and anyone with you."
     
  11. TXPoPo

    TXPoPo

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    My wife thought that for a number of years until she got the call. I was in the ER with some dude sewing my face back together. After that she realized I was a sheee-at magnet and got a clue. It is a hard road to walk I am sure being a cops wife/husband. My wife trusts my abilities and believes in me. On the other hand, she also knows that it ain't always the "other guy" who gets hurt or killed. She knows the reality of it, but doesn't dwell on it either. She had found her place and that is good.
     
  12. Sam Spade

    Sam Spade Staff Member Lifetime Member

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    Is this the kid's calling, or not?
     
  13. snair

    snair

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    very nice, after reading the reply you must have also been proud
     
  14. TXPoPo

    TXPoPo

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    Good question. He is a "good kid" in that he has never been in trouble, does well in school, etc. He and my daughter are both seniors in high school and he has got the personality for it (very straight forward, honest,. etc). Hard to say......but I think he has the right "stuff" to do it. I wouldn't take it so serously or even care that much if he and my daughter hadn't been dating for three years. Good chance he is "THE ONE" and if he is "THE ONE" I would be proud of the fact he chose law enforcement as a career.

    As far as my daughter, she is the "Artsy Fartsy" type and will be pursing a career in mucic. Law Enforcment is just NOT her calling at all. She lives in a differant world than I do even though we are VERY tight and love each other very much. We have a GREAT realationship.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2010
  15. jpa

    jpa CLM

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    Dude, you could've totally capitalized on that one. Something to the effect of "I can't stay home forever, but I definitely can burn a sick day if it's worth my time... ;)"
     
  16. AngryBassets

    AngryBassets Jagenden Übel

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    My dad had been a cop for a year before I was born, and I had 7 years on before I met my wife, 9 years on before my son was born.

    I've been on both sides of things. I remember one night; I was around 11 or so, my dad was working a side job and for some reason I was very worried. I asked my mom why she didn't worry, and she told me that my dad was smarter and sharper than any turd out there, and that was that.

    Never really looked at it that way, but my wife certainly knows I *think* I'm better than every one else. :tongueout:
     
  17. Dragoon44

    Dragoon44 Unfair Facist Lifetime Member

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    I told my wife if I had thought like that I would have been dead.
     
  18. Dragoon44

    Dragoon44 Unfair Facist Lifetime Member

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    Jeez Sam, you do realize this is the 21st century right? I mean treating LE as a calling is sooooooooo last century. now it's just a job.

    :tongueout::whistling:
     
  19. ticktwrter

    ticktwrter

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    I guess this is something those of us in LE don't think about a lot. My girlfriend tells me how much she worries about me when I am at work. I guess after 20 years it is not something I think about most of the time. I do try to take officer safety seriously. I've buried too many officers in my state and would not want that to be something my family and friends have to go through.

    I also would not discourage someone from choosing the career in LE. It has been a good one for me but has changed me. I don't get excited about things that most people do. I am always looking around and even my GF notices how much I look around. I have changed in how I deal with life.
     
  20. AITruckGuy

    AITruckGuy NRA Life member

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    Funny - If young people ask me about being a cop I usually tell them "If you're trying to decide between LE and something else, do something else." The good ones don't have any idea what else they would do if they can't be LE.