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Colonoscopy Humor

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by B. Somm, Oct 7, 2003.

  1. B. Somm

    B. Somm Lady B/Team OAF CLM Millennium Member

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    A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

    1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

    4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

    5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

    6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

    7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

    8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

    9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

    10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

    11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

    12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

    13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"



    B. ;B ;G ;S ;N
     
  2. larry_minn

    larry_minn Silver Member Millennium Member

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    I dread the day I have to have one done. Still putting it off.
     

  3. vafish

    vafish

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    Gee all I did during mine was to make a gagging/choking noise and tell him "Too Far!"
     
  4. pizzaaguy

    pizzaaguy

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    Hey, don't knock it.
    It's a day off from work with great drugs!
    Think of it as trading you pain in the butt boss
    for a pain in the butt checkup.
     
  5. kckndrgn

    kckndrgn

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    man, wish I would have had some of those a couple of weeks ago! Yes I was "violated", as I call it. Good drugs???? I must have missed that one cause the colyte (sp?) you have to take before hand is the nastiest stuff in the world, not to mention living on the ;C while that stuff is working. Worst part, I had an endoscopy (sp?) done at the same time. Both ends were painfull and not something I want to do again.

    Be safe
    R
     
  6. vafish

    vafish

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    I didn't get any drugs with mine, and I've had 2.
     
  7. Wmarden

    Wmarden

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    I like what robert Schimmel said about getting a rigid sigmoidoscopy.
    "Robert we're gonna stick the huge tube up your ***"
    "Why? Did one of my checks bounce?"