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Cold

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Feb 20, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . .

    60 above zero:
    Floridians turn on the heat.
    People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

    50 above zero:
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    People in Madison sunbathe.

    40 above zero:
    Italian & English cars won't start.
    People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

    32 above zero:
    Distilled water freezes.
    The water in Superior gets thicker.

    20 above zero:
    Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in
    Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

    15 above zero:
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
    People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

    Zero:
    People in Miami all die.
    Wisconsin close the windows.

    10 below zero:
    Californians fly away to Mexico.
    People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

    25 below zero:
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.

    40 below zero:
    Washington DC runs out of hot air.
    People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

    100 below zero:
    Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
    Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

    460 (-459.67 F below zero):
    ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero, zero on the Kelvin scale.)
    People in Wisconsin start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

    500 below zero:
    Hell freezes over.
    Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.
     
  2. GunsRmyProzac

    GunsRmyProzac

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    I didn't know DC could run outta hot air,
    oh yeah, I noticed the rest is pretty true too, us Wisconsinites seem to be bred for the cold.
     

  3. Sharker

    Sharker

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    I think its ironic how people from the north pat themselves on the back for being able to handle the cold, and mock the people in the south for not being able to....

    And how people in the south pat themselves on the back for being able to handle the heat, and mock the people in the north for not being able to!

    (BTW I have lived in both Maine and Florida (and everywhere in between) so I know both extremes. Give me the heat anyday!)