60 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbathe. 50 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people plant gardens. 40 degrees - Italian cars will not start. Chicago people drive with the windows down. 32 degrees - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker. 20 degrees - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people go out for to rent some videos 10 degrees - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt. 0 degrees - Hollywood CA disintegrates. Chicago people get out their winter coats. - 20 degrees: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. Chicago Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. - 40 degrees: Polar Bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Chicago Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. - 80 degrees: Mount St Helen's freezes. Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets really cold. - 100 degrees: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. - 460 degrees: All atomic motion stops. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 500 degrees below zero- Hell Freezes Over. The Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl!!! (again)
