60 above zero: Texans turn on the heat. People in Maine plant gardens. 50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Biddeford Maine sunbathe. 40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Portland Maine drive with the windows down. 32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. Ends swimming season in Maine. 20 above zero: Texans put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt. 15 above zero: NC landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Kennebunk Maine have the last cookout before it gets cold. Zero: People in Miami all die. People in Maine close the windows. 10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Maine get out their winter coats. 25 below zero: Texas disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door to door. 40 below zero: Washington, DC runs out of hot air. People in Maine let the dogs sleep indoors. 100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Maine people get frustrated because they can't start the Mini-Van. 460 blow zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin Scale). Maine public schools may close. 500 below zero: Hell freezes over. People in Maine start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"