People in New England 60 F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe. 50 F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens. 40 F: Italian & French cars wont start. People in New England drive with the windows down. 32 F: Distilled water freezes. Maines Moosehead Lakes water gets thicker. 20 F: Floridians don fur coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt. 15 F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold. 0 F: All the people in Miami die... New Englanders close the windows. 10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door. 25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats. 40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors. 100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they cant start their kahs. 460 below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying...Cold nuff for ya? 500 below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.