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civil war

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by nipperwolf, Apr 5, 2004.

  1. nipperwolf

    nipperwolf

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    A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee, grits, biscuits and jam, when a Northerner, chewing obnoxiously on bubble gum, sits down next to him.
    The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.


    Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole slice?"

    Southerner: "Yep.

    "Northerner: (After blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle
    it, then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."

    The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in silence.
    The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"

    Southerner: "Yep."

    Northerner: (Cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and chuckling) "We don't. Up North, after we eat fruit for breakfast,
    we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and then send it down South."

    Then the Southerner asks, "Y'all have sex up North?

    "Northerner: "Why, of course, we do." And he pops another big bubble.

    Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use'em?

    Northerner: "We throw them away, of course."

    Southerner: "We don't. Down South, we put 'em in a jar, melt 'em down into bubble gum, and sell 'em to Yankees."
     
  2. KB4IFS

    KB4IFS MOLON LABE

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    We take what's inside and send it down South and sell it for toothpaste.;z
     

  3. glockG23

    glockG23

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    good god that is funny
     
  4. Guest

    That would explain why there is barely any toothpaste down here...
     
  5. KA3N

    KA3N Senior Moment

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    Supply just can't keep up with the demand....
     
  6. colt1911a1

    colt1911a1

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    A yankee is one that is born in the north and stays in the north.

    A damn yankee is one that comes south to visit, but goes back up north.

    A God damn yankee is one that comes down and stays.
     
  7. KB4IFS

    KB4IFS MOLON LABE

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    COOL, I'm a Damn Yankee. How do you tell the difference between the bride and mother-in-law at a southern wedding? The bride has the good tooth.
     
  8. Timidor

    Timidor EEEEEEVIL

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    A Bostonian visited San Antonio and asked a native, "What is that dilapidated-looking ruin over there?"
    "That, suh, is the Alamo. In that building, suh, 136 immortal Texans held off an army of 15,000 of Santa Anna's regulars for four days."
    "Um-m-m," said the Bostonian, "and who was that man on horseback on that hill over there?"
    "That, suh, is a statue of a Texas Ranger. He killed 46 Apaches in single-handed combat and broke up 27 riots in his lifetime. Where you from, stranger?"
    "I'm from Boston. We have our heroes there, too. Paul revere, for instance-"
    "Paul Revere!" snorted the Texan.


    "You mean that man who had to ride for help?"
     
  9. KB4IFS

    KB4IFS MOLON LABE

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    The numbers in the mexican army increase every time I here a quote about the Alamo. However, everything is bigger in Texas.:cool:
     
  10. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW;g
     
  11. C9X19

    C9X19

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    There are a lot of brands of white colored gum out there...
     
  12. Jon509

    Jon509

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    Yankees still haven't figured out that saying "Give me a pop" in the south will get you punched, or at least my family hasn't anyway.

    Jon