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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by jwnunez, Aug 31, 2015.
Damn. Strange story.
I don't know if she realizes there is a difference between "taking responsibility for your safety" and "blaming yourself when you are hurt/assaulted/etc." These are not synonymous. And then it gets stranger from there.
Were I to guess I would say she is still not mentally "healed" or whatever the hell you call it when someone gets past a trauma.
This thread won't end well.
If you read about the description of who she was raped by, and how it took place, she did show some seriously bad judgment. The guy was a 1%er wearing "I heart Rape" and "On Your Knees *****es" patches.
If you ignore the slanted reporting (I haven't read her book), it simply sounds like she is talking about her responsibility for placing herself in the situation. Hard to argue that taking a ride from someone wearing an "I Heart Rape' t-shirt is the primary cause for the event.
And no, I am not saying the rapist shouldn't be held LEGALLY responsible for the crime. But, Putting on a Rolex and walking through skid row, increases the likelihood of that watch getting stolen to a near certainty.
I'm pretty sure that is what "Tattooed Love Boys" is about.
I put that in the "take responsibility for your safety" category.
And yeah, that was pretty stupid. Probably a lot of drugs involved honestly.
Well, the feminazis are up-in-arms over her comments. Just going crazy.
It's odd that talking honestly about personal responsibility makes them so hateful.
The truth is so rare these days. This was refreshing that she admitted how she put herself into that situation.
I think the issue is that she went beyond saying "I made a bad decision" and into "It was my fault." She made a bad decision, but the rapist is the one who's fault it was.
The difference is subtle but it's there. Plus then she starts talking about other rapes. Bad move there.
Rabbi has an analogy about walking in a bad neighborhood with $100 bills taped to your head, that fits.
I have often wondered about the lyrics and origin of the song Tattooed Love Boys and whether it referred to bikers or skinheads. The "changing tires" and "bro" made me think more of American bikers, than skinheads that she would have hung around with in England in the 70's. This may explain that, at least.
"Tattooed Love Boys"
The mid twenty joys around a heart that's black and blue
Tattooed love boys
I tore my knees up getting to you
'Cause I needed
To find out what the thing was for
But man the time came to explore
I went apewire 'cause I thought
Like I'd like it little tease
But I didn't mean it
But you mess with the goods doll, honey you gotta pay, yeah
A good time was guaranteed for one and all
The tattoos did target practice in the hall
While waiting for their number to get called out
I, I, I, I found out what the wait was about
I was a good time, yeah, I got pretty good
At changing tires upstairs bro
I shot my mouth off and you showed me what that hole was for
Now I see you
All impressed and half undressed
You got paint stick all over the scars and lumps and bumps
Tattooed love boys
Have got you where I used to lay
Well ha ha too bad, but you know what they say
"Stop snivellin', you're gonna make some plastic surgeon a rich man"
Oh, but the prestige and the glory
Another human interest story
You are that
Lots of shades of grey here though. Based on what she wrote.......yeah......she bears a large portion of responsibility. It's like she saw a bear trap, and purposely stuck her foot in it.
Patiently waiting for thread to hit critical mass....
There's an inappropriate joke in there somewhere...
This thread be like.......
A O Way to go OHIO
Saw the article last week, thought about the GT crowd.
Play with matches, you get burned. Poke a bad dog, you can get bit. Hang out with Boy Scouts, learn to "Be Prepared"?
In this case, maybe some good will come from her confession and some youngsters will learn, both male and female.
And that is the problem with the reactions. Here 'fault' does not in any way diminish the rapists 'fault'. But is she hadn't committed the stupid actions she did, she likely would not have been raped. That is the real problem with this complaining about her statements. Young women (and men) need to learn that just because we are going to throw the criminal in jail doesn't mean your actions don't mean you have some responsibility (ie FAULT) for placing yourself in the situation.
Not yet. But soooooon. LOL
Having feelings that the sexual assault is one's own fault is a very common phenomenon among rape victims, so no surprises there. As far as her actions go, she was definitely stupid (and likely high as a kite) to put herself in a situation where she was alone with a man wearing an "I heart rape" shirt, but ultimately it was HIS decision to force himself on her...nothing changes that.
It's a hard thing trying to decode emotional aspects and speak the plain truth of the matter. As a fan of her music and writing, Chrissy has a strength for that, IMO.
That's kind of why I used the terms "bad decision" and "fault." To try to discriminate between the two facets of this. To me, "fault" implies total blame - ie whoever the buck stopped with. And it isn't with her. To say it was her fault would basically say the rapist bears no responsibility, where he actually does.