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Children

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Jun 27, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

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    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Location:
    Summit, MS
    WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
    >
    > To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
    > grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make
    you
    > chuckle.
    >
    > Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
    > thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
    > After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
    > thing he said was "DON'T!"
    >
    > "Don't what?" Adam replied.
    >
    > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
    >
    > "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have
    > forbidden fruit!!!!!"
    >
    > "No Way!"
    >
    > "Yes, way!"
    >
    > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
    >
    > "Why"
    >
    > "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
    > hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
    God
    >
    > saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
    >
    > "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
    >
    > "Uh huh," Adam replied.
    >
    >
    > "Then why did you?" said the Father.
    >
    > "I don't know," said Eve
    >
    > "She started it!" Adam said
    >
    > "Did not!"
    >
    > "Did too!"
    >
    > "DID NOT!"
    >
    > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
    > should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
    never
    > changed.
    >
    > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
    >
    > If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
    they
    >
    > haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
    > children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
    >
    > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
    >
    > 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
    >
    > talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
    up.
    >
    > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
    >
    > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
    >
    > 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
    > word what you shouldn't have said.
    >
    > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
    > that there are children more awful than your own.
    >
    > 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
    >
    > ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
    > home.
    >
    > AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
    > DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
    >
    > "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"