The Top Ten Indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper HMO: 10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor's office include: "Go left when you enter the trailer park." 8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles. 7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter. 6. The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage, is "An apple a day." 5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. 4. The line that reads "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network-charges" is not a typo. 3. The only expense that is covered 100% is embalming. 2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little M's on them. And the number One sign that you belong to a cheap HMO: 1. You ask for Viagra, and you get a Popsicle stick & duct tape.