Caution: Idiot sightings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Skykevver, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. Skykevver

    Skykevver Proud American

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    Feb 22, 2008
    Thomaston, GA
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ' Hey, ' I announced to the technician, ' it ' s open! ' His reply: ' I know. I already got that side. '
    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

    We had to have the garage door repaired.
    The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ' large ' enough motor on the opener.

    I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, ' Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower. ' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ' NO, it ' s not. ' Four is larger than two. '

    We haven ' t used Sears repair since.


    My daughter and I went through the McDonald ' s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
    She said, ' you gave me too much money. ' I said, ' Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ' We ' re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing. ' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD ' s.

    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ' Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don ' t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore. '

    From Kingman , KS

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
    and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
    the counter for ' minimal lettuce. '
    He said he was sorry,
    but they only had iceburg lettuce.

    -- From Kansas City

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ' Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? ' To which I replied, ' If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? ' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
    ' That ' s why we ask. '

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it ' s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ' What on earth are blind people doing driving?! '

    She was a probation officer inWichita , KS

    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ' downsizing, ' our manager commented cheerfully, ' This is fun. We should do this more often. ' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn ' t understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

    How would you pronounce this child ' s name?


    Leah?? NO
    Lee - A?? NOPE
    Lay - a?? NO
    Lei?? Guess Again.

    This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It ' s pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don ' t be silent."

    SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don ' t be silent.