Bush's New Immigration Proposal: "8 million undocumented immigrants can get me re-el

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  1. Banjoboy


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    Nov 1, 2001
    Southwest Virginia
    Bush's New Immigration Proposal: "8 million undocumented immigrants can get me re-elected"
    Politics News
    Wednesday, January 7, 2004
    TheDailyFarce.com - Marcelo Lewin

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    President George Bush announced today his new "8 Million And Counting Immigration Proposal" that would allow undocumented immigrants to keep their current job and stay legally in the United States for at least until the 2004 election, then maybe another 3 years after that, depending on how they vote.

    "I'm doing this for humane reasons," stated President Bush, "We need to have in place a humane immigration policy that recognizes these individuals and their worth, especially their worth in votes. Therefore, today, I propose that we allow all 8 million illegal immigrants to stay in the U.S. as long as they 1) have a job currently, 2) will have a job before the law goes into effect, 3) are thinking of getting a job sometime in the future, or 4) have a friend or know anyone around them that has a job."

    We asked President Bush how can illegal immigrants vote, since by definition, they are illegal? "Well, did I say vote? You misunderstood me. I said 'note'. They would each require a 'note' from their current employer to prove they are working. Yes. That's exactly what I said. Yes. Yes."

    After careful analysis of the Immigration proposal by TheDailyFarce.com investigative team, we found a section that states the following:

    "All illegal immigrants can legally reside in the United States and become legal workers. By extension, all workers will then be automatically registered as Republican voters. They will, however, be free to vote for any Republican candidate running in the 2004 election. If however, they do not vote, they will be immediately deported and replaced with a new illegal immigrant that will vote."

    "It's all about being compassionate and getting the Latino vote," stated White House spokesman Scott McCellan, "This policy will make sure that everyone understands that we are compassionate toward Latinos. We are all one raza!"

    We spoke with California Lt. Governor Cruz Bustamante and asked him his thoughts on the proposal that President Bush is trying to pass.

    "I don't think he is doing enough," stated Cruz Bustamante, "We should extend this policy not only to current illegal immigrants, but any future ones. In fact, I would extend this across the border. All Mexicans should be able to become legal American workers, whether they live in the United States or not."

    President Bush is scheduled to meet with and pander to Mexican President Vicente Fox next month.