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Mentally Frozen
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https://www.commdiginews.com/life/breaking-news-wile-e-coyote-sues-the-acme-company-128981/

Coyote V. Acme
IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT,
SOUTHWESTERN DISTRICT, TEMPE, ARIZONA
CASE NO. B19294, JUDGE JOAN KUJAVA, PRESIDING
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff
-v.-
Acme Company, Defendant

Opening Statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote:

My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering causes as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability.
Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, “Defendant”), through that company’s mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labeling. Sales slips made out to Mr. Coyote as proof of purchase are at present in the possession of the Court, marked Exhibit A. Such injuries sustained by Mr. Coyote have temporarily restricted his ability to make a living in his profession of predator. Mr. Coyote is self-employed and thus not eligible for Workmen’s Compensation.

Mr. Coyote states that on December 13th he received of Defendant via parcel post one Acme Rocket Sled.
The intention of Mr. Coyote was to use the Rocket Sled to aid him in pursuit of his prey. Upon receipt of the Rocket Sled Mr. Coyote removed it from its wooden shipping crate and, sighting his prey in the distance, activated the ignition. As Mr. Coyote gripped the handlebars, the Rocket Sled accelerated with such sudden and precipitate force as to stretch Mr. Coyote’s forelimbs to a length of fifty feet.

Subsequently, the rest of Mr. Coyote’s body shot forward with a violent jolt, causing severe strain to his back and neck and placing him unexpectedly astride the Rocket Sled. Disappearing over the horizon at such speed as to leave a diminishing jet trail along its path, the Rocket Sled soon brought Mr. Coyote abreast of his prey. At that moment the animal he was pursuing veered sharply to the right. Mr. Coyote vigorously attempted to follow this maneuver but was unable to, due to poorly designed steering on the Rocket Sled and a faulty or nonexistent braking system. Shortly thereafter, the unchecked progress of the Rocket Sled brought it and Mr. Coyote into collision with the side of a mesa.

Damages Medical Report
Paragraph One of the Report of Attending Physician (Exhibit B), prepared by Dr. Ernest Grosscup, M.D., D.O., details the multiple fractures, contusions, and tissue damage suffered by Mr. Coyote as a result of this collision. Repair of the injuries required a full bandage around the head (excluding the ears), a neck brace, and full or partial casts of all four legs.

Hampered by these injuries, Mr. Coyote was nevertheless obliged to support himself. With this in mind, he purchased of Defendant as an aid to mobility one pair of Acme Rocket Skates. When he attempted to use this product, however, he became involved in an accident remarkably similar to that which occurred with the Rocket Sled.


Again, the Defendant sold over the counter, without caveat, a product which attached powerful jet engines (in this case, two) to inadequate vehicles, with little or no provision for passenger safety.
Encumbered by his heavy casts, Mr. Coyote lost control of the Rocket Skates soon after strapping them on, and collided with a roadside billboard to violently as to leave a hole in the shape of his full silhouette.

Mr. Coyote states that on occasions too numerous to list in this document he has suffered mishaps with explosives purchased of Defendant:

  • The Acme “Little Giant” Firecracker,
  • Acme Self-Guided Aerial Bomb, etc. (For a full listing, see the Acme Mail Order Explosives Catalog and attached deposition, entered in evidence as Exhibit C.)
Indeed, it is safe to say that not once has an explosive purchased of Defendant by Mr. Coyote performed in an expected manner.

To cite just one example of damages:
At the expense of much time and personal effort, Mr. Coyote constructed around the outer rim of a butte a wooden trough beginning at the top of the butte and spiraling downward around it to some few feet above a black X painted on the desert floor. The trough was designed in such a way that a spherical explosive of the type sold by the Defendant, would roll easily and swiftly down to the point of detonation indicated by the X.

much more of damages at the link above....poor little bastard!

 

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Those cartoons are classics. Those of us who grew up with Bugs, Sylvester, Wile E, Taz ,Elmer and the rest were lucky. It was a good time to be a kid.
 

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I had figured out a long time ago that The Road Runner owned the ACME company.
 

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Mentally Frozen
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
 

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Those cartoons are classics. Those of us who grew up with Bugs, Sylvester, Wile E, Taz ,Elmer and the rest were lucky. It was a good time to be a kid.
Yes! When life was more was more in-tune and simpler.
 

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Those cartoons are classics. Those of us who grew up with Bugs, Sylvester, Wile E, Taz ,Elmer and the rest were lucky. It was a good time to be a kid.
But, But, WAIT! There was so much violence in those cartoons. How come we didn't grow up violent?

Not only that, we had all those old western hero's with white hats shooting people in the shoulder to make them give up. And we almost all had real guns as teenagers. And we played with pocket knives in grammar school. What did we do wrong?
 

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Hard to believe that the Coyote cartoon was banned for being "too violent", but video games like "Grand Theft Auto" and "Doom" were just peachy keen.
Grand Theft Auto and Doom are today’s replacements. What immediately replaced our Roadrunner/Wile E Coyote/ etc was cartoons that showed whole planets being blown up. But our cartoons were deemed too violent. That never made any sense to me.

Besides kids having guns, knives, and all of the rest, we played outside all day and into the night with no parents in sight, drank water from the hose, played cowboys and Indians, ate white bread, and so much more. And we all seem to have turned out mostly okay/only a little deranged thanks to life long attempts of brainwashing all of us courtesy of the Democrat party. But otherwise okay.


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