One day there was a man sat at the bar looking sadly into his pint of beer, sighing heavily. "What's the matter pal?" asked the barman. "Well," replied the man, "It's my little five year old son. He got my next door neighbour pregnant!" "But thats impossible!" replied the barman. "No it's not," cried the man, "the little sucker punctured all my condoms with a needle!"