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Blonde joke

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
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    January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

    February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

    March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2-4 years!"

    April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

    May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
    8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

    June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

    July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

    August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

    September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

    October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

    November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

    December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

    What a year!!
     
  2. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked,"Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance
     

  3. Slobberchops

    Slobberchops WTF?!?!?

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    :animlol: :animlol: :animlol:
     
  4. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    :rofl: