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Blonde Bank Heist

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Prophet, Jun 27, 2003.

  1. Prophet

    Prophet or Profit

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    Two blondes, Trisha and Robin decided to rob a bank together. The
    First blonde, Trisha plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the
    Second blonde, Robin, in great detail. The robbery begins. Trisha drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," said Robin. Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car.

    One minute passes . . .
    Two minutes pass . . .
    Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out.

    Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Robin. She's got a
    Safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
     
  2. SMUNK

    SMUNK Detached Member

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    Racist!!!. . . .Well maybe just pathetically un-funny.
     

  3. Prophet

    Prophet or Profit

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    Since when is blonde a race?
     
  4. BrassInPocket

    BrassInPocket

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    ;f Well, I thought it was funny! ;f
     
  5. SMUNK

    SMUNK Detached Member

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    "Since when was blonde a race?"

    When is the last time you saw blonde africans, asians, middle- easterners, eastern europeans and pacific islanders or even Italians for that matter?

    Since it is genetic, is is racial. It is an inherited and recessive gene particular to northwest Europe.

    If you didn't notice, some crazy guys used blondeness as a characteristic to define the "nordic aryan" and tried to kill or subjugate people who didn't fit the profile.

    So don't give me that BS about blonde not being racial.

    If you did a joke about someone with nappy hair, that would be racist right?

    Why? Because only africans have nappy hair. Same goes for blondes. Only northern europeans have blonde hair.
     
  6. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    You're trying to get offended if you think blonde jokes are racist. Go annoy other people.
     
  7. SMUNK

    SMUNK Detached Member

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    I am sick of it being ok to talk S*** about one group to no end and having to tip-toe around all other ethnicities.

    Say all you want about the white devil cracker MFer. The whiter he is, the more we can talk S$#%

    This is symptomatic of that trend.

    In addition joke is the same damn joke it was in 1964. It was never funny. It's never going to be funny, come up with a new Fing joke.
     
  8. Bannack

    Bannack

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    Well so what if your offended, I'm not and I'm blond, son is blond, daughter is blond and so is my wife.... and we're all laughing at this one.

    Have a few beers ;c ;c ;c ;c ;c and re-read, you may even think it is funny then too. I ain't really blond but light enough that many thinks me blond ;f
     
  9. GlockedNCocked

    GlockedNCocked Oompa Loompa

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    Aparantly the world is not yet a politicly correct enough place.
     
  10. Prophet

    Prophet or Profit

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    GFY
     
  11. USMCsilver

    USMCsilver Boat Life ©

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    Go smoke a bone. Loser. ;Q
     
  12. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    I see some of these people quite often.

    Blonde African. Blond hair, blue eyes, born and raised in South Africa, as were nearly all ancestors for the past three centuries.

    Blonde African-Americans. Usually racially mixed (you got a problem with that?)or artificially blonde (like many so-called blondes).

    Blonde Asians. OK, I only see one Japanese girl with her hair dyed blonde, but she is quite memorable.


    Blonde Eastern-Europeons. Plenty, mostly Russian or Polish (would you prefer Polish jokes? They can be arranged).

    Blonde Pacific Islanders. Olivia Newton John and millions of Aussies & Kiwis are some of these blondes.

    Blonde Italians. Countless, numerous, common. Blond Italians are typically from Florence or Nice, mostly north of the River Po while southern Italians and Sicilians generally have darker hair.

    If you don't think this blonde joke was funny, you probably did not get it. That means we have a pretty good guess as to the color of your hair.

    If you intend to cry "racist" every time you see a blond joke, I intend to make your life miserable.



    ;a
     
  13. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

    A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.

    Angrily, back into the house she went.

    As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

    Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

    She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL.""



    ;f
     
  14. hwyhobo

    hwyhobo

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    SMUNK wrote:
    Do you know where Eastern Europe is?
    Since you have declared Eastern Europe off limits to blonds, and since Germany borders with Poland and is at the same latitude, I take it blonds are rather unheard of in Germany?

    Oh, and yes, I did see quite a few blond Italians last time I visited Milan.

    BTW, I know it's a secret, but Italy is way south of much of Eastern Europe.
     
  15. SMUNK

    SMUNK Detached Member

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    Germany is western europe, northern italy borders france, switzerland and austria.

    Southern italy and spain were invaded by the moors and persians/arabs

    But come on I'm not trying to sharply define populations in specific locations, I am simply making a point that only a small part of the worlds population that is only white is blonde.

    The point is that being blonde is a racial characteristic. It is a characteristic that melts in and out of populations gradualy, as people move around.

    It's a simple point, easily taken.

    South africa- Dutch, British

    Australia- British then everyone

    USMCsilver- "go smoke a bone loser" ? Good point, you should try out for jeopardy. Maybe run for office.

    How could I ever rebutt an argument so precisely articulated? . . . .

    I give up;f
     
  16. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    That's all we asked, Blondie.

    Now how do you think your precious blondes ended up in northern Europe anyway? Have you studied the Germanic migration period? Those tribes were from Asia! On the other hand, how do you think the region known as Galatia in what is now Turkey got it's name?

    Blondes are everywhere, trying to enter thru the exits, pulling on doors labelled "Push" and justifying the stereotype. ;P



    The Suicidal Blonde!

    A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night, with the tip of her index finger blown off. "How did this happen?", the doctor asked her.

    "Well," the blonde replied, "I was depressed, and I was trying to commit suicide!" The doctor scratched his head. "What? You tried to commit suicide by shooting your FINGER off??"

    "No, silly!" the blonde sighed. "First, I put the gun to my chest. Then I thought, boy, I just paid $5,000 for these breast implants, I'm not gonna shoot myself in the chest."

    "Then I put the gun in my mouth. But I thought, huh, I just paid $2,500 to get my teeth straightened, no way, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" asked the doctor.

    "Well, then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought, gee, this is going to make an awful loud noise! So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
     
  17. hwyhobo

    hwyhobo

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    SMUNK wrote:
    Yes, you are. Here is the relevant quote again:
    Please comment on how you managed to include Eastern Europe in that list.
    So you are qualifying your previous statement that "only Northern Europeans are blonde" by narrowing it to "only North-Western Europeans" are blonde? So you are again excluding Eastern Europe? And so in that case I suppose one is more likely to find a polar bear than a blonde walking the streets of Moscow? After all, Russia is waay east of Germany. Or is it that once you're past Eastern Europe, blondes are legal again?
     
  18. SMUNK

    SMUNK Detached Member

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    "those tribes were from asia"

    Yeah and everyone before that came from africa, then they evolved into different looking peoples all over the world.

    HWYHOO- You just want to argue dude.

    Of course there are blondes in freakin russia, that is fairly north is it not. It does come close to scandinavia does it not? Borders finland? next to norway and sweeden. So it's the same area.

    Dude, germany is pretty north, seeing as it is like 100 miles from sweeden and borders denmark and holland. And since it is located mostly above 50 degrees north latitude.

    I was talking about the slavic( yes there are some blonde slavs), turkeman, persian and mongolian related peoples that separate europe from the middle east and asia

    You will notice that some russians look like scandinavians and some look asian. This would of course make sense since Russia borders mongolia and china and comes darn near japan.

    And in kazakstan people look more like middle easterners because they are near that area.

    You will also notice that there are caucasian people in the remote northern parts of japan and that some japanese look like eurasians ( cause they probably are)

    All of europe is north in the scheme of things.

    But that misses the point, once again you cannot dispute the fact that being blonde IS a racial characteristic.
     
  19. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    Hey Blondie, find the Caucasus Mountains and then get back to us regarding reality. Hint: It ain't 100 miles from Sweden.
     
  20. hwyhobo

    hwyhobo

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    SMUNK wrote:
    Then? You didn't finish your sentence. Okay, let me repeat it, Germany is at exactly the same latitude as Poland, Belarus, parts of Ukraine, Czech Republic, and Slovakia.
    Just not getting through. Eastern Europe consists mainly of slavic tribes. Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine, Belarus, Russia, these are all Slavs (there are more Slavs in Southern Europe, but since you are preoccupied with the North, I'll stick with that). In a previous post you seemed to yield that Eastern Europe does, indeed, have blondes. You can't have it both ways.

    Now for the second part of the above statement:
    Are you implying that Persia (Iran) and Mongolia are in Eastern Europe? ;P
    Blondes are a sub-group of whites--they do not represent all whites. They do not even represent a particular ethnic group (as we have clearly shown in our prolonged discussion here). Therefore. you cannot imply that someone making fun of blondes is making fun of caucasians, or of any specific ethnic subgroup. In fact, "blondes" in those jokes really mean "blonde female airheads", and the essence of all jokes is the "airhead" attribute, and not any particular race.