Best Dad Jokes. Let’s hear them

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by jimcorbin, Feb 18, 2020.

  1. jimcorbin

    jimcorbin

    Messages:
    2,870
    Likes Received:
    9,541
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Why don’t cats play cards in the jungle?
    Because if all the cheetahs!
     
    treg, Maccabeus, arkdweller22 and 3 others like this.
  2. G26-Has-my-6

    G26-Has-my-6

    Messages:
    6,876
    Likes Received:
    15,226
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2017
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    what do u call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

    nacho cheese
     
    TBO, Maccabeus, arkdweller22 and 2 others like this.

  3. Dr357sig

    Dr357sig

    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    250
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2016
    When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
     
  4. catman71

    catman71 Spewer of TROOF

    Messages:
    7,642
    Likes Received:
    19,186
    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Location:
    Central MN
    Why is there a fence around every cemetery?

    people are dying to get in!
     
    TBO, Maccabeus and jimcorbin like this.
  5. Majestic9C1

    Majestic9C1 You're Going to Love my Nuts

    Messages:
    1,810
    Likes Received:
    3,971
    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2018
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Did you know that Diarrhea is hereditary??

    Apparently it runs in your Jeans
     
  6. Quijibo

    Quijibo King Doofus.

    Messages:
    3,516
    Likes Received:
    8,525
    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2005
    Location:
    N.E. Ohio
    What do you get when you breed a poodle with an elephant?
    A dead poodle, torn in half.

    What do you call it when a cow has an abortion?
    De-calfinated.

    What do you call it when a Czechoslovakian has an abortion?
    A canceled Czech.

    Ever hear of the tribe of native americans that had no nipples?
    They were called the indianippless 500.
     
    ronj1, jimcorbin and catman71 like this.
  7. DocCasualty

    DocCasualty Wolverine

    Messages:
    7,758
    Likes Received:
    15,513
    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2010
    Location:
    Northern Michigan
    What did one casket say to the other casket?
    Is that you coffin?
     
    TBO, G26-Has-my-6, Maccabeus and 3 others like this.
  8. newglocker10mm

    newglocker10mm Texas Born & Bred

    Messages:
    2,790
    Likes Received:
    5,712
    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2017
    Location:
    Texas, Oklahoma and anywhere with Oil!
    How do you catch a polar bear? Drill or cut a big hole in the ice, hide and wait for a polar bear to show up. Then you sneak up behind him and kick him in the icehole.
     
    The Machinist and jimcorbin like this.
  9. Quijibo

    Quijibo King Doofus.

    Messages:
    3,516
    Likes Received:
    8,525
    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2005
    Location:
    N.E. Ohio
    What's long, brown, and sticky?
    A stick.

    What's has green fuzz on it and if it fell out of tree on you it could kill you?
    A pool table.
     
  10. John_AZ

    John_AZ

    Messages:
    3,475
    Likes Received:
    10,178
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2017
    Location:
    The Desert
  11. Micad

    Micad

    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    794
    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2001
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No I deer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    Still, no ideer
     
    TBO, JHCJR, G26-Has-my-6 and 3 others like this.
  12. mmcbeat

    mmcbeat

    Messages:
    2,915
    Likes Received:
    4,556
    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2004
    Location:
    Fort Worth, Texas
  13. 686Owner

    686Owner NRA Life Member

    Messages:
    14,145
    Likes Received:
    3,161
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2007
    Location:
    KY
    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef
     
    TBO, treg and jimcorbin like this.
  14. 63Bravo

    63Bravo

    Messages:
    3,455
    Likes Received:
    5,518
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Location:
    Minnesota
    What’s green and flys over Poland?

    Peter Panski
     
    jimcorbin and Berto like this.
  15. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

    Messages:
    1,461
    Likes Received:
    1,937
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 1999
    Location:
    Western NY , ADK NY, Gulf Coast FL
    A girl with one leg = Eileen

    A guy in the water with no arms or legs = Bob
     
    TBO, Glockdude1, G26-Has-my-6 and 2 others like this.
  16. Dr357sig

    Dr357sig

    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    250
    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2016
    Where do you take a one legged hooker?Ihop
     
    pgg00 and jimcorbin like this.
  17. Spats McGee

    Spats McGee

    Messages:
    1,202
    Likes Received:
    1,147
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Location:
    Arkansas
    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9.
     
  18. G19Tony

    G19Tony Sneet CLM

    Messages:
    13,988
    Likes Received:
    26,527
    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Location:
    Las Vegas, NV
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on him.
     
    Maccabeus, Spats McGee and jimcorbin like this.
  19. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

    Messages:
    1,461
    Likes Received:
    1,937
    Joined:
    Jan 20, 1999
    Location:
    Western NY , ADK NY, Gulf Coast FL
    Why did the strawberry cry?

    It's mother was in a jam.....
     
    Maccabeus and jimcorbin like this.
  20. Berto

    Berto woo woo

    Messages:
    29,785
    Likes Received:
    15,922
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2003
    Location:
    WA
    I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
    Then, I turned myself around.
     
    Z71bill, IamtheNRA, Wyoming and 6 others like this.