Best Dad Jokes. Let’s hear them

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by jimcorbin, Feb 18, 2020.

  1. jimcorbin

    jimcorbin

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    Why don’t cats play cards in the jungle?
    Because if all the cheetahs!
     
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  2. G26-Has-my-6

    G26-Has-my-6

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    what do u call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

    nacho cheese
     
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  3. Dr357sig

    Dr357sig

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    When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
     
  4. catman71

    catman71 Spewer of TROOF

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    Why is there a fence around every cemetery?

    people are dying to get in!
     
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  5. Majestic9C1

    Majestic9C1 You're Going to Love my Nuts

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    Did you know that Diarrhea is hereditary??

    Apparently it runs in your Jeans
     
  6. Quijibo

    Quijibo King Doofus.

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    What do you get when you breed a poodle with an elephant?
    A dead poodle, torn in half.

    What do you call it when a cow has an abortion?
    De-calfinated.

    What do you call it when a Czechoslovakian has an abortion?
    A canceled Czech.

    Ever hear of the tribe of native americans that had no nipples?
    They were called the indianippless 500.
     
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  7. DocCasualty

    DocCasualty Wolverine

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    What did one casket say to the other casket?
    Is that you coffin?
     
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  8. newglocker10mm

    newglocker10mm Texas Born & Bred

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    How do you catch a polar bear? Drill or cut a big hole in the ice, hide and wait for a polar bear to show up. Then you sneak up behind him and kick him in the icehole.
     
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  9. Quijibo

    Quijibo King Doofus.

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    What's long, brown, and sticky?
    A stick.

    What's has green fuzz on it and if it fell out of tree on you it could kill you?
    A pool table.
     
  10. John_AZ

    John_AZ

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  11. Micad

    Micad

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    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No I deer

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    Still, no ideer
     
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  12. mmcbeat

    mmcbeat

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  13. 686Owner

    686Owner NRA Life Member

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    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef
     
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  14. 63Bravo

    63Bravo

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    What’s green and flys over Poland?

    Peter Panski
     
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  15. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

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    A girl with one leg = Eileen

    A guy in the water with no arms or legs = Bob
     
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  16. Dr357sig

    Dr357sig

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    Where do you take a one legged hooker?Ihop
     
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  17. Spats McGee

    Spats McGee

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    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9.
     
  18. G19Tony

    G19Tony Sneet CLM

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    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on him.
     
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  19. DaveD

    DaveD Ex-Mod Moderator Millennium Member

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    Why did the strawberry cry?

    It's mother was in a jam.....
     
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  20. Berto

    Berto woo woo

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    I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
    Then, I turned myself around.
     
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