*We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. * When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic. * Our boyfriend's clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours. * We can be groupies. * Male groupies are stalkers. * We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. * Taxis stop for us. * Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. * We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. * Free drinks. * Free dinners. * We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay. * We can hug our friends without wondering if we're gay. * We know the truth about whether size matters. * New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. * Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex. * It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. * No fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo. * We don't fart to amuse ourselves. * If we forget to shave, no one has to know. * We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ***. * If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. * We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. * We have the ability to dress ourselves. *We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. * We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month. * We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked. *If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. * Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. * There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems. * Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable. * We'll never regret piercing our ears. * We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. * We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.