Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by StoneGiant, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. StoneGiant


    Likes Received:
    May 31, 2003
    Derry, NH

    A salesman pulled into a Texas town, spent a long day with customers, and decided to have a drink before heading out to dinner. He walked into the local bar, and asked the barkeep for a beer.

    The bartender delivered the beer, gave him a long look, and said “Hey fellow! You new in town?” The salesman smiled, and said “Yes sir… I’m a salesman from Oklahoma.”

    “Oh! Then you must know Ben!” exclaimed the bartender.

    “Ben? Ben who?” replied the perplexed salesman.

    The barkeep leaned over, smirked, and shouted, “Why don’t you ‘Ben Over’ and kiss my ass, Okie!”

    The salesman gasped, and started to yell back, but thought to himself: “Hey, I am a stranger, and perhaps this guy is just having a bad day!” He then proceeded to finish his beer. After a couple minutes, the barkeep wandered up to him and politely asked, “Like another beer?” The salesman nodded ‘Yes’, and the barkeep put another beer on the bar in from of him.

    “Hey, fella. You seen Ben yet?” asked the barkeep.

    “Ben? Ben who?”

    “Ben Over and kiss my ass, you dumb Okie!” roared the bartender, who then turned to service another customer.

    The salesman was so mad that he slammed his glass down… then froze, realizing that he was surrounded by Texans. Acknowledging that he was outnumbered, he turned and left the bar. Later that evening, his waitress noted that the salesman was picking at his food and seemed depressed. Being curious, she asked him if the food was OK.

    “The food’s fine,” he said, “but I think I’ve met the rudest person in the world!” He then went on to explain what had happened in the bar. As he came to the end of his story, the waitress started giggling, and then broke out in loud guffaws. She then exclaimed, “Man you must be from Oklahoma. That’s got to be one of the oldest Texas jokes! Would you like to get even?”

    The salesman leaned forward, and excitedly said, “You bet! But how?”

    The waitress then, in a conspiratorial voice, told him this:

    • “Go back to the bar. Wait until the bar is packed, so you have the biggest possible audience.

      “Call the bartender over, and in a loud voice, ask him ‘Hey barkeep! Have you seen Eileen?’

      “When he says something like ‘Eileen. Eileen who?’, you say ‘Why don’t I lean over and you can kiss MY ass?' ”
    The salesman was almost orgasmic in his anticipation of REVENGE! He immediately went over the bar, which was packed wall-to-wall with Texans. The salesman shouted out, “Hey barkeep! A beer!”

    The bartender brought over a beer, and the salesman, in a loud voice, said “Hey barkeep! Have you seen Eileen?”

    The bartender responded, “No, she left with Ben.”

    “Ben who?”