Ben Franklins time machine

Discussion in 'Political Issues' started by bgraff1, Jun 9, 2020.

  1. bgraff1

    bgraff1

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    Ben Franklin and the Time Machine
    Act I. Scene I. The Capitol

    It is well known that Ben Franklin was an inventor, bifocals and the stove for example, but it was not known that he had invented a time machine. Yesterday, at the Capitol Rotunda, there was a puff of smoke and suddenly there stood Ben Franklin.

    B.F: We have almost concluded drafting the constitution and I have come from the past to see how fares our experiment in reason, justice and liberty. I observe that I am at the center of government of a powerful nation but I see that many distinguished persons are kneeling as though in great suffering. I will ask this strangely dressed grandmother what is the cause of such an occasion.


    "We are kneeling to honor George Floyd", answered Nancy Pelosi.

    B.F.: Honoring George Floyd, here, at the highest levels of your government? Truly, this gentleman must have been a great personage who performed substantial and heroic acts to favor the democracy. Quite likely a scion of the Floyds of Philadelphia. Tell me, good lady, was he not a person of exceptional character and honesty.

    N.P.: Well, actually he had many convictions for theft, armed robbery and dealing in illegal drugs and spent considerable time in prison. He once held a gun to the belly of a pregnant woman and threatened to kill her unborn child.

    B.F.: Oh, I see clearly. After such a sordid past he, through the dint of strong will and the blessings of Providence, made amends and turned his ship of life around before performing those noble acts for which you honor him.

    N.P.: Well, not exactly. At the time of his death he was intoxicated on a very large mixture of illegal drugs and was passing counterfeit money.

    B.F.: My word. Intriguing. Logically then, in light of these circumstances, the acts he performed in service of his nation were of immense value and required great heroism, such that nonetheless he deserved such outpourings of grief and honoring by the highest persons of the land. Pray, tell me, I am at wits ends with anticipation of the epic tale of his feats.

    N.P: He died.

    B.F.: Say what?

    N.P.: I said he died, that's it. He died. And, well, you know, there's an election coming up and ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

    B.F.: I take my leave in great haste. I must get back to the past, it may not be too late. I think we are making a tremendous mistake.

    Exit, in a puff of smoke.
     
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  2. mike from st pe

    mike from st pe

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  3. PBCounty

    PBCounty

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    We were taught in high school, and even watched movies depicting such, that Ben Franklin was a drunk who slept all day and did nothing productive. His slaves would sneak into his workshop at night and toil away, inventing things, and Ben Franklin would awake surprised to find the finished items which he would take credit for. So, get it right, Ben Franklin didn't invent the time machine.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2020
  4. ked

    ked

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    please tell me you’re joking?
     
  5. PBCounty

    PBCounty

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    I'm certainly not. I clearly remember those lessons and videos - and the many others just like them.
     
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  6. ked

    ked

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    WoW !:fist:
     
  7. roscoepcoaltrain

    roscoepcoaltrain

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    Abe Lincoln used a time machine, too. He watched Oprah's special. He said, "Goodbye. I have to hurry back and surrender! I hope I am not too late!" He was too late so he bought tickets to the theater.

    :couch:
     
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  8. rj1939

    rj1939

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    "A republic, if you can keep it"

    It lasted a while.
     
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