Being Politically Correct... (Women) 1) She is not a BABE or a CHICK - she is a BREASTED AMERICAN. 2) She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. 3) She is not EASY - she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. 4) She is not DUMB - she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. 5) She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. 6) She is not an AIRHEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED. 7) She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. 8) She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. 9) She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE. 10) She is not a SLUT - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. 11) She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - she is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. 12) She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - she is a LOW COST PROVIDER. Being Politically Correct... (Men) 13) He does not have a BEER GUT - he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY 14) He is not a BAD DANCER - he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. 15) He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 16) He is not BALDING - he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. 17) He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS 18) He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 19) He does not act like a TOTAL *** - he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. 20) He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - he has SWINE EMPATHY. 21) He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED 22) He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.