Being a man

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Feb 7, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    1. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.
    2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
    3. Your last name stays put.
    4. The garage is all yours.
    5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    8. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut.
    9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    10. Same work .. more pay.
    11. Wrinkles-add character.
    12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
    18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
    19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
    20. You can open all your own jars.
    21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
    23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
    24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
    27. No maxi-pads.
    28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
    29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
    32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
    33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in minutes.
    37. The world is your urinal.
    Things men know for sure about women:
    They have breasts.
    Most men would respect a woman's mind more
    if it bounced gently as she walked.
  2. rlfjr

    rlfjr NRA Life Member

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    Jan 21, 2002
    And I thought I was the only one who understood all this stuff ....;f :cool: ;+

  3. 380Shooter

    380Shooter Marksman

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    Jul 10, 2001
    <b>Let's praise these words of wisdom!</B>