Before and After Marriage Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating. Before - Twice a night. After - Twice a month. Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation. After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac. Before - Ricky & Lucy. After - Fred & Ethel. Before - Don't Stop. After - Don't Start. Before - Is that all you are eating? After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey. Before - It's like living a dream. After - It's a nightmare. Before - $60/dozen. After - $1.50/stem. Before - We agree on everything! After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? Before - Victoria's Secret. After - Fruit of the Loom. Before - Feathers & handcuffs. After - Ball and chain. Before - He's lost without me. After - Why can't he ask for directions? Before - When together, time stands still. After - This relationship is going nowhere. Before - Croissant and cappuccino. After - Bagels and instant coffee. Before - I can hardly believe we found each other. After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?