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Before and after marriage

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Feb 28, 2006.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Before - You take my breath away.
    After - I feel like I'm suffocating.

    Before - Twice a night.
    After - Twice a month.

    Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
    After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

    Before - Ricky & Lucy.
    After - Fred & Ethel.

    Before - Saturday Night Live.
    After - Monday Night Football.

    Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
    After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

    Before - Don't Stop.
    After - Don't Start.

    Before - The Sound of Music.
    After - The Sound of Silence.

    Before - Is that all you are eating?
    After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

    Before - Wheel of Fortune.
    After - Jeopardy.

    Before - It's like living a dream.
    After - It's a nightmare.

    Before - $60/dozen.
    After - $1.50/stem.

    Before - Turbocharged.
    After - Needs a jump-start

    Before - We agree on everything!
    After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

    Before - Victoria's Secret.
    After - Fruit of the Loom.

    Before - Feathers & handcuffs.
    After - Ball and chain.

    Before - Idol.
    After - Idle.

    Before - He's lost without me.
    After - Why can't he ask for directions?

    Before - When together, time stands still.
    After - This relationship is going nowhere.

    Before - Croissant and cappuccino.
    After - Bagels and instant coffee.

    Before - Oysters.
    After - Fishsticks.

    Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
    After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

    Before - Romeo and Juliet.
    After - Bill and Hillary..