Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 23, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.

    BEFORE - You take my breath away.
    AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating.

    BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.
    AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.

    BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever
    AFTER - Monday Night Football

    BEFORE - Don't stop.
    AFTER - Don't start.

    BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
    AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.

    BEFORE - $60/doz.
    AFTER - $1.50/stem

    BEFORE - We agree on everything.
    AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

    BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
    AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom

    BEFORE - Charming and Noble
    AFTER - Chernobyl

    BEFORE - Idol
    AFTER - Idle

    BEFORE - I love a woman with curves.
    AFTER - I never said you were fat.

    BEFORE - He's completely lost without me.
    AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

    BEFORE - Time stood still.
    AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere.

    BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino
    AFTER - Bagel and instant

    BEFORE - You look so seductive in black.
    AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing.

    BEFORE - Oysters
    AFTER - Fishsticks

    BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other.
    AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.

    BEFORE - Passion
    AFTER - Ration

    BEFORE - Once upon a time
    AFTER - The end