Before & After Marriage

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 15, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Likes Received:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Before - You take my breath away
    After - I feel like I'm suffocating

    Before - Twice a night
    After - Twice a month

    Before - She says she loves the way I take control of
    a situation
    After - She called me a controlling, manipulative

    Before - Saturday Night Fever
    After - Monday Night Football

    Before - Don't stop
    After - Don't start

    Before - Is that all you're having?
    After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

    Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
    After - It's like he lives in a dorm

    Before - $60/doz.
    After - $1.50/stem

    Before - Turbocharged
    After - Jumpstart

    Before - We agree on everything
    After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

    Before - Victoria's Secret
    After - Fruit-of-the-Loom

    Before - Charming and Noble
    After - Chernobyl

    Before - Feathers and handcuffs
    After - Ball and chain

    Before - Idol
    After - Idle

    Before - I love a woman with curves
    After - I never said you were fat

    Before - He's completely lost without me
    After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

    Before - Time stood still
    After - This relationship is going nowhere

    Before - Croissant and cappuccino
    After - Bagel and instant

    Before - You look so seductive in black
    After - Your clothes are so depressing

    Before - Oysters
    After - Fishsticks

    Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
    After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like

    Before - Passion
    After - Ration

    Before - Once upon a time
    After - The end