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Bawston

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 17, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Joined:
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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Bawston

    "Getting around Boston"
    Pay no attention to the street names.

    There's no school on School Street,
    no court on Court Street,
    no dock on Dock Square,
    no water on Water Street.

    Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda:
    Arlington, Berkeley,Clarendon, Dartmouth,etc..

    So are South Boston streets:
    A, B, C, D,etc..


    If the streets are named after trees
    (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.
    If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.


    Southie is South Boston.
    The South End is the South End.
    Eastie is East Boston.
    The North End is east of the West End.
    The West End and Scollay Square are no more, a
    guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.

    Definitions:

    Frappes have ice cream,
    milkshakes don't.
    If it is fizzy and flavored,
    it's tonic.
    Soda is CLUB SODA.
    Pop is Dad.
    When we mean Tonic WATER, we will
    ask for Tonic WATER.
    The smallest beer is a pint.
    Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
    If you paid more than $6/pound,
    you got scrod.
    It's not a water fountain;
    it's a bubblah.
    It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
    It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
    It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
    They're not franks; they're haht dahgs.
    Franks are money in France.

    Things not to do:


    Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd
    ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville
    (Somerville).
    Don't sleep in the Common.
    Don't wear Orange in Southie on
    St. Patrick's Day

    Things you should know:

    There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two
    courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one
    new).
    Route 128 is also I-95. It's also I-93.
    The underground train is not a subway.
    It's the "T" and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes,
    this ain't Noo Yawk)

    Bostonians... think that it's their God-given right to cut
    off someone in traffic.

    ....think that there are only 25 letters in
    the alphabet (noR's).
    ....think that three straight days of 90+
    temperatures is a heat wave.
    .....refer to six inches of snow as
    a "dusting."
    .....always "bang a left" as soon as the
    light turns green, and oncoming traffic always
    expects it.
    ......say everything in town is "a
    five-minute walk."
    ........believe that using your turn signal is
    a sign of weakness.
    ........think that 63-degree ocean
    water is warm.

    Enjoy BAWSTON
     
  2. Dennis in MA

    Dennis in MA Get off my lawn

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    IIRC, Water Street is also the only street in America that crosses itself. You can be on the corner of Water and Water. LOL


    Rest is 100% true. Stay out'cha'bastids! I'm off for a huttdog (I forgot, it's hutt, not haht) and a frap.