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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by GeorgiaGlocker, Jan 6, 2012.
What are some of the funniest things you saw in basic training?
Saw a kid come out of chow and forget to put his cover on.
I was trying to assemble my element before heading back for details...
From around the corner jumps a TI (yeah... USAF). I got to watch this kid proceed to throw his cover on the ground, jump on it a few times, then proceed to kick it around. Eventually he got to a wall, and had to keep on kicking it.
It was all we could do to not laugh or smile...
We were doing bayonet drills when a recruit swung his M16 to the rear and stabbed another in the kidney.
It wasn't life threatening, therefore funny.
There's not enough time in the day to go over them all, but one I do remember was from MCRD PI. Recruits fall out on line at lights on in their boxers.
The drill instructors do their usual duty of going up and down the line haranguing recruits for various shortcomings until they came on one (and I swear it wasn't me) who had his boxers on backwards.
Well anyone that has been through MCRD knows what that means. The DI's spent the better half of the morning harassing this guy and accusing him of being gay.
Of course you want to laugh...but you can't, or you will PAY. LMAO.
Giving the command (under my breath mind you) of "Rear March" and actually getting some guys in formation to do it.
I was at Lackland in 1975 and we had this one guy who wanted out as soon as he arrived. He had "heard" that if you complain of flat feet that they would send you home. So the next morning our TI asked if anyone needed sick call. Up went his hand (our whole flight knew he was going). What he didn't know was that the physician would actually check to see if he had flat feet. He did not. We all thought he was going to start crying went he got back. It was hard not to laugh. I could tell you other stories about this guy.
Air Force Basic, our first midnight shakedown by our TIs. They come in just like the movies, flippin' the lights on, bangin' a trash can, the works. "Get up! Get up! Get out of your bunks! Prepare for inspection!"
(It's important to know that only the last ten or so bunks in a bay were actually doubles with one on top of another, the forward bunks were singles.)
Well, the guy in the bunk next to me (the very last single) was a heavy sleeper and he didn't really realize what was going on at first. He leans up in bed and says in a groggy voice, "Who the hell is making all the damn noise?"
The TI started running towards him across the tops of the bunks (sometimes with recruits still in them). Within a microsecond he was right there in this guy's face, "Are you on crack, son!? Do you wanna die!?"
At that point, I swear to god, he instantly levitated himself out of his bunk and locked himself into the position of attention, "Sir, Airman [blank] reports as ordered! No Sir!" I've never seen anyone move so fast (and probably never will again).
Interestingly, that same guy was the only person from our flight to get selected to go PJ school.
Not real funny but I went to army basic at Ft Jackson, SC May - July and being from FL I know you have to drink water. If you are thirsty you are behind the curve and will get crushed. A lot of recruits from the North East and North West just could not figure this out and I got to watch them just collapse and shut down a lot. Must hurt to go face and chest first into concrete with a pack on your back and an A2 across your chest.
Watching the biggest toughest looking guys completely terrified to go into the gas chamber.... It is going to suck but come on it is like they thought there was a 20% fatality rate. Often they were the same terrified of a water obstacle even if it was a few feet deep.
Never did figure out how messed up the guys where that could not hack it enough to even get out of reception battalion.
My basic training platoon was strange though. It was 50% Military Intelligence guys many with some college, an actual lawyer, 2 prior service (AF and Navy) and about 10 helicopter pilots heading to Warrant Officer Candidate School direct from basic. I guess they wanted to group us all together for some reason. The other half was people who were taking classes at night during basic trying to get their GED. Was a strange cross section.
We had one guy in our flight spend the first night in the brig. He smarted off to the wrong person. Believe me when I say he did not do it again.
My first thought when I saw the OP was a very similar sitution. At Lackland as well.
TI came in for inspection of the night displays. I'm the fire guard escorting him around. We get to a bunk and the guy in it asks what time it is. TI tells him to roll over and shut up. Guy in bunk thinks its the fire guard messing with him and says..."Stop being an a-hole. What time is it?"
You can only imagine the TIs response.
I'd never seen anyone actually lay in their bunk at attention until then.
What does "TI" stand for?
One day when head back from chow a guy in my flight shot his pants. We all had a pretty good laugh about this, but we covered for him while he was getting a shower and cleaning his underwater and uniform.
Fast forward a couple of days. The TI is doing mail call and the same guy gets a letter. Well the TI didn't think he was moving fast enough and yells something along the lines of hurry up shot stain. The whole flight burst into laughter with the TI just standing there trying to figure out what was going on. Someone finally stopped laughing long enough to tell the TI what were we laughing about. He just walked out of the room shaking his head
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Training Instructor. Just a guess.
One of the guys in my company got some dental work done and they put him on heavy narcotics. While we were all standing in formation on the grinder he just stepped out of formation and started walking away. The instructors about had a complete freak out. One of our guys started laughing and couldn't stop. They PTed him for a long time till he stopped cracking up. Then they PTed him for a lot longer.
Did basic at the old Logan Heights portion of Ft Bliss TX back in the early 80s. We lived in the old elevated 'H' shaped open bay barracks. We had 6 showers for about 50 troops. We had a couple of real losers who were doing all kinds of crazy stuff to get kicked out. One guy would spank the monkey all night long in front of everyone, another simply refused to bathe, ever. One guy simply would not conform and was always attracting the attention of our drill sergeants. Obviously we all got smoked, so he wasnt exactly popular with the rest of us. One night waiting in line to take a 2 minute shower, a commotion breaks out in the line ahead of me. Seems loser boy dropped a deuce in the shower. The guy waiting behind him commenced to pummel the idiot. After what seemed like an adequate time, we pulled him off crapper boy.
One amusing event I recall was shortly after a day of inoculations. We received a huge syringe full of what must have been some derivative of silly putty into the butt cheek and were forced to sort of walk down the hallway on our asses to massage the lump away.
What a sad sorry lot we must have looked like.
I remembered a dude we called Gomer Pyle (before Full Metal Jacket was in vogue) who tried to OD on aspirin.
thanks for the posts thus far.
Hmm let's see...
Another good one:
We just got a group of guys washed into our flight (meaning they focked up elsewhere and got recycled a few weeks).
One of them got recycled for having a cellphone (they were supposed to be locked up in a closet with the rest of your civvie crap).
Anywho, it's the day before one of our big barracks inspections for honor flight. The TI is working his way through my element. And suddenly goes ape****.... he heard a vibrating cellphone. Whereupon he proceeds to domino the bunks, flip mattresses, throw drawers across the barracks and generally tearing **** up to find this cellphone.
The other TI comes running in trying to calm the guy down (we've just about got honor flight in the bag, and TI #2 really wants it). They start systematically looking for the thing. Come to find out, it was Mr. ******nozzle himself (TI #1 had just finished inspecting him, but failed to throw his **** all over the place).
Mr. ******nozzle was promptly removed from the premises. I think both TIs could smell the hate that was brewing...