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Bartender

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by xcrewman, Aug 24, 2002.

  1. xcrewman

    xcrewman Desk Jockey

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    Jul 18, 2001
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    Death Valley, CA
    A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye."

    The bartender agrees to take the bet, so the man removes his glass eye, puts the eye in his mouth, and bites it.

    "That's not fair," says the bartender. "How was I to know you had a glass eye?"

    "Very well, then, I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my left eye."

    The reluctant bartender agrees to take the bet, so the man pulls out his false teeth and bites his left eye.

    By now, the bartender is really pissed off. He hands the man his money and walks away.

    The man sits down at a table and starts drinking beer after beer. Some ten beers later, the man gets up and starts talking to another patron.

    Sometime later, the man says to the bartender, "You know, I wasn't to fair to you earlier, so I'll give you a chance to win your money back. I'll bet you $500 that I can stand on a barstool 5 feet from the bar and piss into a shot glass without getting any on your bar."

    The bartender thinks about the bet to ensure there are no catches, and then reluctantly agrees to take the bet.

    The man pulls the barstool to within 5 feet of the bar, exposes his member, and begins urinating right into the shot glass.

    To the bartender's delight, though, the man loses his footing, causing him to urinate all over the bar. The bartender laughs at the man. He starts wiping up the mess from the bar, and says, "I knew you couldn't do it!"

    The man reaches into his pocket and pays the bartender $500, then says to the bartender, "Fair is fair. But, you know, I bet the man down at the end of the bar $1,000 that I would stand on a barstool, piss all over your bar, and that you would laugh and clean it up."