Bad: You find a porno movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your son "borrowed" it. Bad: Your unit only measures out to be 2 inches long. Worse: Erect!!! Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your wife. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in unexpectedly. Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headline. Good: Your boyfriend's on a diet. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes. Good: Your daughter practices safe sex. Bad: She's eleven. Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: She weighs 350 pounds. Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown. Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home. Good: Your wife just experienced her first orgasm. Bad: With the postman. Good: Your wife's got a flat stomach. Bad: And a matching chest. Good: Your wife's got large breasts. Bad: And a matching ass. Good: Your girlfriend's got soft, long, blonde hair. Bad: Under her arms. Good: Your daughter's boss raves about her work. Bad: He's a pimp.