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Babies

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 31, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Location:
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    Pregnancy Differences-

    Your Clothes

    -1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
    OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

    -2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as
    possible.

    -3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

    The Baby's Name

    -1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice
    pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites.

    -2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your
    great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

    -3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see
    where your finger points.

    Preparing for the Birth

    -1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    -2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember
    that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

    -3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

    The Layette

    -1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes,
    colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's
    little bureau.

    -2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
    clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

    -3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

    Worries

    -1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a
    frown -- you pick up the baby.

    -2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
    to wake your firstborn.

    -3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the
    mechanical swing.

    Activities

    -1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby
    Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

    -2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    -3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and
    the dry cleaner.

    Going Out

    -1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
    you call home 5 times.

    -2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
    leave a number where you can be reached.

    -3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only
    if she sees blood.

    At Home

    -1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at
    the baby.

    -2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure
    your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

    -3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from
    the children.
     
  2. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    okie that is too, too funny! Thanks, Eddie:)