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Attorney Hunting Laws

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Gatman, Jul 6, 2005.

  1. Gatman


    Likes Received:
    Mar 18, 2004
    Chicago Suburbs
    (Your State Here) 1986/87 ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS


    1300.01 GENERAL

    1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting
    license may harvest attorneys.

    2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is
    permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

    3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If
    accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed
    to nearest car wash.

    4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys
    from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

    5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance",
    or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

    6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards
    of BMW dealerships.

    7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100
    bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

    8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards
    of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars,
    ambulances, or hospitals.
    9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it
    shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.

    10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health
    department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

    11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as
    a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep,
    accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of
    hunting attorneys.


    1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
    2. Two-faced Tort Feasor 1
    3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 4
    4. Small-breasted Ball Buster (Female only) 3
    5. Big-mouthed Pub Gut 2
    6. Honest Attorney EXTINCT
    7. Cut-throat 2
    8. Back-stabbing Whiner 2
    9. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser 2
    10. Silver-tongued Drug Defender $100 BOUNTY
    11. Hairy-assed Civil Libertarian 7
  2. Gambino


    Likes Received:
    Apr 30, 2004
    Waynesboro, Mississippi