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"Attorney Hunting Laws"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Oct 27, 2002.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    "Attorney Hunting Laws"

    1. Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest/hunt
    attorneys.

    2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

    3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
    struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car
    wash.

    4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow
    machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

    5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash," "ambulance," or "free
    Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

    6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW
    dealerships.

    7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills,
    prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.

    8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
    courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

    9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. (get yours BEFORE elected)

    10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department
    inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.

    11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

    ;N
     
  2. jhfenton

    jhfenton Evil Marathoner

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    Fortunately, I was elected to city council a year ago, so I'm safe.

    Also, keep in mind that some of us attorneys are armed, trained, and ready to shoot back. :)
     

  3. powernoodle

    powernoodle

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    And since we are 31 times smarter than stinkin' jail guards, its not really a fair fight anyway. ;f
     
  4. Elmstreet

    Elmstreet

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    With all those restrictions, it seems impossible to bag one.
     
  5. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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  6. pistolwhipped

    pistolwhipped ***FUBAR***

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    Time sheet:
    Glock Talk "The Lighter Side"
    Read thread re: Joke (Attorney Hunting Laws)
    .2 hours
    Please remit 0.2 hours = 55.00
    Thank you
     
  7. Roger C

    Roger C

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    So is my cat...