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Attention all Triage nurses...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Timidor, Feb 23, 2004.

  1. Timidor

    Timidor EEEEEEVIL

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    To: All EMS Personnel
    From: Chief of Operations
    Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

    It has come to our attention from several emergency
    rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly
    creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all
    members are to refrain from using slang and
    abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

    1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as
    suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty
    bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it
    before, got it again).

    2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are
    rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to
    describe their mental state.

    3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB
    (fall down, go boom),TBC (total body crunch) or
    "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car
    crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
    vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration
    syndrome."

    4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not
    "glow worms."

    5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of
    drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

    6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital
    implants."

    7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is
    endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".

    8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons
    as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature),
    CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT
    (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

    I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural
    diversity of our patients to include their medical
    orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.
     
  2. LtTripMD

    LtTripMD Nuke & Pave

    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2002
    Location:
    Upstate, NY
    ooh ooh.

    me too, me too.

    board abbreviations for patient status:

    OTD: Out The Door (duh)

    OTD YOYO MF: Out The Door, Your On Your Own MotherF*

    TU: Tango Uniform

    Vitamin H Deficient: requiring haldol

    anyone read The House of God? we still use "positive 'O' sign" and "positive 'Q' sign" too.
     

  3. mfackler

    mfackler

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2001
    Location:
    Van Wert, Ohio, USA
    My personal favorite

    B.A.T.S. (Busted All to S**T)

    I consider "House of God" a must read :)
     
  4. MDT

    MDT Glock21Love

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    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2003
    Location:
    Claremore, OK
    Some at our ED:

    intubating willie (placing a foley catheter)

    seizure salad (obvious)

    looking at xrays "glad that's not my neck film (or insert any of your basic abnormal, messed up tests here)"

    trendelenburg position "assuming launch position"


    MDT
     
  5. Guest

    ;f ;a ;f

    I love those!