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Atlanta School Board

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by kentley, Nov 16, 2002.

  1. kentley

    kentley

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    The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over "Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

    HEIDI -- noun. Greeting.

    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
    Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

    BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

    JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

    MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

    IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
    Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

    RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
    Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

    ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

    FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

    BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
    Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"

    TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
    Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

    TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
    Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

    RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
    Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

    TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
    Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

    FAT -- noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.

    ARE -- pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.

    RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
    Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

    FARN -- adjective. Not local.
    Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country." See also FARNER

    DID -- adjective. Not alive.
    Usage: "He's did, Jim."

    EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
    Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"

    BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
    Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

    JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction.
    Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

    HAZE -- a contraction.
    Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert."

    SEED -- verb, past tense.

    VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
    Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

    HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action.
    Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

    GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
    Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
     
  2. gwalchmai

    gwalchmai Lucky Member

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  3. WolfmanGK

    WolfmanGK Super Plump

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