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Native Mainiac
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Some of the comments in the “Reverse Mortgage” thread made me wonder how many people out there think that they are owed something when their parents check-out for good. I know a lot of folks, myself included, financially help their aging parents and know there’s nothing coming nor ever expected anything. I figure 18 years of feeding and clothing me (and not beating me to death no matter how much I may have deserved it:supergrin:) is a debt I could never re-pay anyway.

But some people think that if their parents die and have a house and/or money left over, then they automatically are entitled to the booty. I’m sure in most cases that happens either through the will of the parents, or the probate court, but how many would be upset if mom and dad decided to donate everything to a charity, or gave the house to a friend who helped them instead of the off-spring?
 

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The Bombdiggity
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The happiest people on Earth tend to be those with the most reasonable expectations. It is not reasonable to expect someone to give you something that is rightfully theirs.

The corollary that helps prove my point is, have you ever noticed that people who feel they are "owed" something are not often very happy? They are often the most miserable SOBs around and are too busy hidding behind a ludicous sense of entitlement, often even masked in false rightiousness, to ever do a damned thing with their own life.
 

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It is their property and wealth and I support them doing whatever they want with anything that is left over. I just hope they make their wished known so we can honor them. The things I would like as an inheritance are mostly sentimental. I would like my Dad's guns. Obviously they have value but more so to me because they are his.

I am doing fine and provide well for my family. I don't need financial help from anyone to keep my family fed and sheltered.
 

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What's Up Dox?
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Nope.

In all truth, the biggest things I'd cherish from my parents estate have little monetary value. They're much heavier in sentimental value.
 

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↓ hog hunter ↓
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I wouldn't. I've always felt inheritance should skip a generation and go to the grandchildren.

Barring unnatural occurances, the children are comfortable by the time their parents pass while the grandchildren are in a more difficult time financially. There are typically more grandchildren than children as well, so animosity among the recipients is less likely.
 

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My two meth-head aunts right now are salivating over the prospect of my Grandparents estate. One of them is living in their garage "taking care of my Grandma" with her meth friends. It pisses me off to no end. I hope that every dime is given to a charity, or burned, as long as they dont get it.
 

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Not a simple answer to that question, but a good question it is...

Each situation has to be taken on its own merits, but the less you expect from others in life the less you will be disappointed.

In most cases, yes, parents pass to their offspring. But in my and wife's situation where we have no kids, what do we do with what little we will leave behind? It is certainly not a given that it will go to family (unless either of our parents are still living... then in our case, that is a no-brainer.

I liked the ending of the movie "Gran Torino" where Clint gave the car to someone who actually meant something to him, not his snivvling granddaughter.

Just my 2 cents worth...
 

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But some people think that if their parents die and have a house and/or money left over, then they automatically are entitled to the booty. I’m sure in most cases that happens either through the will of the parents, or the probate court, but how many would be upset if mom and dad decided to donate everything to a charity, or gave the house to a friend who helped them instead of the off-spring?
Are you asking if they are entitled to it regardless of who the parents wanted it to go to? Or if they have not indicated their wishes, should they (the kids) be first in line?
 

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It is their property and wealth and I support them doing whatever they want with anything that is left over. I just hope they make their wished known so we can honor them.
This is the real issue. You're only "owed" something when it's promised to you beforehand, on paper. There should never be any surprises in an estate. HH
 

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My mother in law is all worried about leaving us an inheritance. She's in her mid 80s and every time we visit the subject comes up. We keep telling her to not worry about it and just to have a good time. She was an original Rosie the Riveter. I truly wish she would not worry about these things. No amount of money can replace her in our hearts. She was one who made the greatest generation great. I'm welling up just thinking about life without her.
 

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Rope Czar
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The happiest people on Earth tend to be those with the most reasonable expectations. It is not reasonable to expect someone to give you something that is rightfully theirs.

The corollary that helps prove my point is, have you ever noticed that people who feel they are "owed" something are not often very happy? They are often the most miserable SOBs around and are too busy hidding behind a ludicous sense of entitlement, often even masked in false rightiousness, to ever do a damned thing with their own life.

You mean like Democrats? :whistling:
 
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The only think I feel I am owed is a shotgun that has been pastdown to the oldest son in my family for well over 100 years. I remember when I Grandfather gave it to my Dad. He looked at me and said some day this will be yours. I was 9 or 10 at the time.
 

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GUNDWG
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Grew up with little to no monetary wealth but was the richest kid in the neighborhood, because no matter how poor we were, my mother always provided for us and showed us love. That is what I inherited.

It sometimes takes a lifetime for people to understand that true wealth has nothing to do with money. Its the love you have and share with your family. My in-laws are stupid rich, like in the multi-million dollars rich, but they are the poorest people I know. They use monetary wealth to try to fill the void where love once was. Its pretty freakin' sad.
 

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My Grandparents lived a frugal life. Saved every penny they could. They retired early but continued to live the same lifestyle.

One day, while I was visiting them, they made the comment that they would like to take a trip. Through further conversation I found that there were several trips they wanted to take. When I asked them why they didnt, they replied they didnt wanna "waste" the money because they were worried there wouldnt be enough to pass on to my mother, brother and myself.

By the time I was done talking to them they took all those trips. I told them They earned that money, THEY scrimped and saved for 60 years, not me, mom or my brother. If THEY wanted to use it to enjoy their retirement than THEY better get in touch with the travel agent post haste.

Mom wasnt to happy with me, but my Grandparents sure had a good time.
 
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Mr. CISSP, CISA
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I would hope when my parents pass on that there is money left over.
I would hate to see them work as hard as they did, and not have some kind of legacy.

As far as deserve, no I don't deserve.
Would I be upset, if they left their money to a charity, yes.
Would I be upset if they setup a college fund for my niece and nephew, no, absolutely not.

BTW, you could buy insurance for your parent and then you would be sure to get something when they pass. It might be worth it to at least set it up to cover the cost of a funeral.
 
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Native Mainiac
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Are you asking if they are entitled to it regardless of who the parents wanted it to go to?
No, I'm asking if they "feel" entitled to it.



Or if they have not indicated their wishes, should they (the kids) be first in line?
If the parents have not indicated their wishes in a will, then the probate court will usually award the estate to the surviving spuse, children or next of kin in that order...so if no will, the court will decide after tying things up for a long time.
 

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Mr. CISSP, CISA
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Through further conversation I found that there were several trips they wanted to take. When I asked them why they didnt, they replied they didnt wanna "waste" the money because they were worried there wouldnt be enough to pass on to my mother, brother and myself.

By the time I was done talking to them they took all those trips. I told them They earned that money, THEY scrimped and saved for 60 years, not me, mom or my brother. If THEY wanted to use it to enjoy their retirement than THEY better get in touch with the travel agent post haste.

Mom wasnt to happy with me, but my Grandparents sure had a good time.
Good for you.
Kick you mom in the butt for me.
 

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I do have a significant amount of insurance to ensure that my children will be taken care of and to not put financial burden on my wife. Enough to keep them in their private school, etc.

However, as my wife and I are sacrificing to give them every opportunity at success, once they are grown we plan to use our money to help those who may not have had those opportunities.

A quality prep school education, a strong work ethic, and a good moral compass is enough of an inheritance for them to succeed with if they use them.
 
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