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Are you a Liberal or a Conservative?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pesticidal, Aug 23, 2002.

  1. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

    Joined:
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    Are you a Liberal or a Conservative?

    1) Which one of the following is preferred reading for a classroom?
    a) The Bible
    b) a very different twist "My Two Daddies"

    2) Which of the following statements do you agree with?
    a) President Ronald Reagan is a much better role model for the youth of today than Bill Clinton, Sean Puffy Combs and Monica Lewinsky.
    b) Bill Clinton, Sean Puffy Combs and Monica Lewinsky are much better role models for the youth of today than President Ronald Reagan.

    3) Which of the following statements do you agree with?
    a) An able bodied white male is a preferable employee to a lesbian quadriplegic with epilepsy.
    b) A lesbian quadriplegic with epilepsy is a preferable employee to an able bodied white male.

    4) Hollywood actors are by far the most knowledgeable experts in every subject on this great earth.
    a) false
    b) true

    5) All psychiatrists are not only 100% normal but always give better advice than a Minister, Priest, Rabbi or other spiritual guide.
    a) false
    b) true

    6) Hard working people are less beneficial to society than drug addicts with an advanced stage of AIDS.
    a) false
    b) true

    7) A great night consists of:
    a) a meeting with President Bush at the White House.
    b) a long drive with Ted Kennedy in an unpopulated area.

    8) People who earn $12,000 should receive a $70,000 tax cut, while people who earn $100,000 should be paying $500,000
    a) that statement is ridiculous
    b) that would be hard to implement but it's a great idea and should be looked into

    9) When searching for morality turn to...
    a) The Bible
    b) a different viewpoint - turn to Hollywood

    10) AIDS is a good thing, showing that one has lead an ideal life and many good things have to end sometimes
    a) absolutely ridiculous
    b) Yessiree Bob!

    BONUS
    Which is a preferable lifestyle?
    a) running an honest charitable institute
    b) drug addiction, intercourse with as many types of "alleged" humans, animals, plants and minerals, coupled with heavy rap music.

    TEST YOURSELF
    If you answered "a" to all of the questions you are a conservative. On the other hand, if you answered "b" to any one of the questions, including the bonus, you are not only fit for your very own padded cell and personalized straight jacket, but you may also be the next Democratic Presidential Nominee. Don't ask for my vote though.