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Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by force_quit, Sep 5, 2004.

  1. force_quit

    force_quit 2071 AD

    Likes Received:
    Aug 7, 2004
    SE Michigan
    I found this joke on a this blog :

    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? What with elections coming up, perhaps this could assist you in determining which way to vote:

    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    Scroll for the answer...

    Democrat's Answer

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor or Oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing!

    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican's Answer


    Southern Republican's Answer



    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?