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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Jay9928, Mar 27, 2009.

  1. Jay9928

    Jay9928 I laugh at liberals.

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    Location:
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    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?


    Here is a little test that will help you decide:


    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock 40 cal., and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?


    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think? What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
    send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
    was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
    healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing!

    I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.


    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!



    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....
    (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click…

    Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”

    Son: “You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?”

    Wife: “You are not taking that to the taxidermist.”
     
  2. Short Bus

    Short Bus

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  3. Nicko

    Nicko GTDS FOR LIFE

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    Very nice!!! :rofl:
     
  4. Fullthrottle1096

    Fullthrottle1096

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    Thanks for letting me know I'm a Redneck! :)
     
  5. Kguard103

    Kguard103 TC - A2 SEP

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    Coffee on keyboard! :rofl:

    If there weren't so much truth to this is wouldn't be as funny.