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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Mrs. VR, May 31, 2007.
or are all our docs just jerks? Discuss
I've sort of experienced that before. They seem to listen when my husband speaks more so than when I do. Almost like if he says it is so, it certainly must be so!
OR if something impacts him, it is suddenly more serious than before.
Not ALL doctors have been that way, but at least one or two.
All of my docs except one are women. (And that is saying something... I have 6 or so.) They're all great and listen to my concerns, and respond well.
My dentist doesn't count: he's from Boulder so he's a nice, soft-spoken hippie.
The one man I have is a contact lens specialist, since I have to get fitted special for each lens, each time they are replaced. Yeah... $$$. Anyway, he's all business. The last time I was there, he had me take my contacts out (I'm blind as a bat without them, no joke, I'm 20/800 or something), and then he tells me how much my new lenses will be after he looks at my eyes. He asks if I'm going to order them that day, and I say yes. So then he just sits there looking at me (I guess he was looking at me, I was too blind to tell) and then he asks if I need a pen to write my check. I say no, I need my contacts back so that I can see to find my checkbook. He's nice and I'm satisfied with his service, but I'm convinced that none of the women would have made such a blunder.
+1. My GP is the exception.
I'll never again go to a MALE ob/gyn. I had one for a while though. It just seemed he lacked the ability to put himself in my position...maybe that's because he didn't have the same equipment.
after all this mess with Jay is over, im DEFINITELY switching primaries, and I'm going to look especially for a woman.
I've noticed with my OB/GYN that he has a tendecy to just "blow" off my questions or I get an answer like "It is part of being a Parent". I have thought about switching to a female, but there is this level of "trust" in there somewhere. Don't ask me why, but there is. Oh, and I don't like change too well either. But I am getting to the point that something is gonna have to give. He has NEVER carried a child for nine months sharing your body with another human being and on top of that have to give birth either!!!!!
These men that try to tell us about OUR bodies have not been thru what most of us women have and NEVER will have the ability to do so either.
Now, me and SG have the same GP and he is awsome (and being "easy on the eyes" ain't bad either). He will ACTUALLY sit and listen. He is married with 3 kids (that range in ages from 7 to 2) and seems to be pretty active in their lives. I think he might have some insight on what some of us women are going thru.
You saw how well it went over with me to have a male GYN tell me that a certain procedure "shouldn't hurt". He got terminated. C'YA!!! Until he lets me twist his balls he has no idea what that procedure felt like to me.
I've never heard my new female GYN tell me something like that. She gives a proper amount of urgency to my calls and questions and is also open minded-enough that she let ME decide which method of birth control best met my needs. STG, I've been telling you to dump this LOSER of a physician for a long time. He's behind the times and I'm not so sure I like his answers to your questions.
I'm almost afraid to post this here, but my male GYN went into temporary retirement to do missionary work overseas. While he was gone, his associates hired a female GYN. I went to her and felt good about how well she listened to me...EXCEPT she was LESS compassionate than my Male GYN. She did have to do surgery on me while he was gone. She cut another organ during the procedure which turned an hour procedure into a five hour procedure to repair the damage. That damage has caused further problems for me.
Last summer I had to see a specialist, a doctor that I was friends with when I worked at the hospital. He was furious that I let her touch me at all. He said she had a reputation for doing what she did to me to many patients. My family doctor had kind of hinted in that direction earlier but didn't come out and say it. But this doctor has known me for years and knew he could talk freely
She was terminated shortly after my incident.
I know it isn't a generalization about female doctors, just my experience. I have a few other friends that are in this area that have seen female doctor's that have missed serious things and prefer male GYNs.
Just my experience...and I've had a lot! Not to say that all of the male doctors are great here either!
You do need to do your homework to find the BEST doctors though!
I hate being out of the field for that reason. When I was in the field, I KNEW all of the problems and who the good docs were!
There is a GYN in the group that I go to that kinda did the same thing. My Aunt knew the woman it had happened to and there was a lawsuit (he was with another group when it happened). The woman was bleeding internally and even though he knew what he had done, he would not own up to it until the family of the woman wanted to call someone else in for a second opinion. Then he "confessed". When I found out he was "practicing" with the same group I went to, I was a bit leary. I wound up having to see him on my last visit when pregnant with my first child. I swore then that I would NEVER see him again!!!! When pregnant with my second and almost ready to deliver, I told my doctor then that under NO circumstances was this particular to set foot in my room for ANY reason. He wanted to know who it was and I told him. He reassured me that he did not deliver babies any longer and I had nothing to worry about. He stuck to surgery only. I told him that I knew about the woman and he did not need to be doing surgery either. He needed to retire!!!!!!!! After almost letting a woman die from surgery HE did, he is still doing surgery!!!!! Sorry for the long rant!!!!!
I'd have put my foot down on that one Karen. I put my foot down with the "old" OB/GYN after he wanted to perform that same procedure on me in a matter of a month or so after the first one. I wasn't even healed completely from the first one.
I have a friend who is looking to have a new procedure done in a few weeks rather than having her tubes tied. Most of the physicians we know wouldn't go along with this since she is young, recently married and has no kids (and doesn't want any either). My group of physicians has taken her on and has agreed to comply with HER WISHES. They made it crystal clear to her that this is irreversible and she's chosen to go ahead with the procedure. They seem to be okay with that.
See, I think that is the problem with some of the male docs. They think they can have that "upper" hand on certain women's issues. It is MY firm belief that a woman knows wheather or not she wants children or has the longing for them. If the woman and her spouse are in agreement, why should the woman risk an unwanted pregnancy if all the doc will do is put her on birth control? Now, I do have to admit that I think it is easier for a man to get a vacectamy (ms)? than it is for a woman to have her tubes tied if she has never had children. Am I wrong? But I have met men that just absolutley REFUSE to do that. Now, that is another rant in itself. I'll stop while I think I'm ahead.
Sorry Sharon, I think we have hijacked your thread.
A vasectomy does not change a man's masculinity. In fact, to me, it is an ultimate act of love to the woman he loves!
My gynecologist AFTER my children were born, and BEFORE the lady that worked on the adhesions, was wonderful! He always treated me like a VIP and was absolutely amazing! He returned briefly from retirement and I saw him once, but he has gone into semi-retirement and gives some time to the health department now.
I will forever miss him!
I do teach his grandchildren now; they are all the best children, winning all awards, and top performers in our school. Their parents home school them after elementary school!
Sorry! I'm too wordy, as usual! :embarassed:
nah, it's ok, I've had some of the same issues. My first birth was what I later had confirmed an UNNECESSARY C-Sec, cause as it turns out, my doc was known as being "surgically agressive", and she was a WOMAN!!!! She's since had a breakdown after a bad outcome and retired.
Im just very tired of doctors who "pat me on the head" and are dismissive. I don't know if it's the HMO culture or what, but Im about to stage a revolt!
We are offered new options every October through my husband's job to change our insurance.
It costs more but I will always fight to have as much choice as we can. I will avoid HMO's as long as I possibly can.
We are on a PPO system but there are many HMO options with his insurance that would save us big bucks in premiums. I won't do that.
Having a say in who we go to is critical to me.
Fortunately, all of my doctors that I have chosen, after eliminating a few are Preferred Providers with our insurance!
I know it is never going to get better and fear we will be forced into choosing something we will not be happy with eventually!
I had a male urologist to look at me and say "bless your little heart" when I went in with severe pain from a kidney stone. He refused to give me anything for pain and advised me to take Tylenol.
We have a PPO as well. I think ONCE I had an HMO and HATED IT!!!!!!
Tylenol just don't "cut" it!
With both pregnancies, I had the pregnancy induced miagrans. With the first pregnancy, it took my Hubby going to the doc with me for him to FINALLY give me something that actually worked. The doc's answer to everything was to take Tylenol. Tylenol DOES NOT work on me and neither of my kids! At that point ( I was about 4 to 5 months along) I was telling him that I was going to take whatever I wanted if he did not give me something. All my Hubby did was ask if there was something he could give me and he pulled out his script pad and wrote me a script for darvaset. I had been asking him for 3 months for something and he kept putting me off!!!!!
They usually say Tylenol because it's supposed to be the gentlest. Tylenol only works for me if I can go to sleep immediately after taking it. Then I wake up feeling like a million bucks. But who has time for power naps?!
I usually take Aleve, although my nephrologist informed me a few months ago that they can be hard on kidneys. Stronger painkillers are kind of scary. Percocet gave me super-sized nightmares.
They probably listened to your hubby because they thought he might sue.
Seems they ALWAYS listen to my hubby! He'll say, "Look doc! It's like this! She's really....."
Then the doctor stands up and listens as if it's the first time he heard it! Then the doctor is AMAZED at what they find is wrong when they go take a closer (surgical, often) look at things!
<---Doctor! They act like the big hero, male and female alike, when they tell you what was wrong with you all this time, after it took you months to get you to make them take you seriously that something was seriously wrong!!
I'm not bitter, I am thankful that answers were found. It just is frustrating to go through this. I DO understand that Insurance companies dictate the course that they have to follow in most cases.
In other words, they have to try everything else before they can do what they need to do in the first place! They have to follow protocol!