Application to Date My Daughter Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician. Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________ Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________ Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #:_______ Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________ Home Address:______________________________________________ City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________ 1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____ If "No", explain: 2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____ Any brothers or sisters? ____ Are they normal? ____ 3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____ A truck with oversize tires? ____ A waterbed? ____ 4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____ 5. Do you have a tattoo? ____ If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately. 6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you? 7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you? 8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you? 9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you? 10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________ How often do you attend: ____________________________ 11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi?__________________________ 12. Please fill in the blanks: a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my _______________________ b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ________________________ c. A woman's place is in the _______________________ d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is _________________________ e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is _________________________ Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. 13. What do you want to be if you grow up? I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse. Signature of applicant _________________________________ Signature of father _____________________________________ Signature of mother ____________________________________ Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________ Signature of State Representative _________________________ Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.