Anyone else raising their grandchildren?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by narkcop128, Sep 30, 2020.

  1. DaleGribble

    DaleGribble FullClip CANT BREATHE!!!!!

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    To answer your question, no, but I have similar problems with a daughter; there's just no child in the picture, yet.

    Second, I'm sorry about what has happened.

    Third, you're a good man.

    He's adorable!
     
  2. clancy

    clancy Oh, for a muse of fire

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    My wife and I have had her grandkids for up to 8 months at a time, 3 times in the past 4 years. It sucks, but someone had to take care of the kids. Their mother and her baby daddies all felt that drugs and alcohol were more important than food and clothing for the kids. Mom is doing a bit better, but I don't hold out much hope. I despise her, and am civil to her only because of my relationship with her mother.
     
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  3. Upgrayedd

    Upgrayedd

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    My dad is on his mid 80's, and he's raising his new wife's grandchildren. Problem is that they are in their late twenties.
     
  4. Glock-O-Rican

    Glock-O-Rican

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    When I was still living in Sacramento, my neighbor Liz was raising her Great Grandson. The kids mother was a hooker. Grandfather & Grand Mother were both dead. Liz was trying her hardest, to have her Great Grand Son be a productive member of society..
     
  5. rotorhead1026

    rotorhead1026

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    Paperwork includes a “line of succession” in case the both of you check out early - o/w there’s a chance the child winds up back with mom.

    I had both grandkids for ten days in August. What a handful (aged three and fifteen months). You’re good people, OP and wife. Thank God for you.
     
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  6. The Father

    The Father

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    Same deal different relative

    Raised the wife’s sisters kids since the sister was a mental case druggie. The husband was not man enough to raise his own kids.
    So anyway 20 years later the sister is still a mental case druggie and the former husband is still useless.
     
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  7. rotorhead1026

    rotorhead1026

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    There’s something to be said for consistency, but not in this case.
     
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  8. clancy

    clancy Oh, for a muse of fire

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    This is something that concerns me greatly. I am 64, with my share of health issues. The grandkids are 10, 8 and 6. I am, in all honesty, the sole positive male influence in their lives, and am doing all I can to teach the boys how to be good men(I think the oldest is a lost cause, but that's another story entirely) and the girl how to be independent and not depend on a man for anything.

    I am afraid I won't have the time I need.
     
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  9. narkcop128

    narkcop128

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    The best gift you can give a daughter or grandaughter is to be independent of a man. We tried to teach that to our daughter and she refused and took up with a series of piece of **** guys. It's just broke our hearts but we must go on for our grandson.
     
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  10. Baba Louie

    Baba Louie

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    God Bless you both, narkocop.
     
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  11. jame

    jame I don't even know....what I'm doing here....

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    We pretty much raised our oldest grandchild for the first eight years of his life. He’s now 13.

    My daughter and her husband placed a higher priority to partying than they do raising their kids. They have four.

    Sadly, they still put a pretty high priority on partying, but the 13 year old get sucked into baby sitting, so we usually end up with at least two of them every weekend from Friday afternoon to late Sunday evening.

    I really don’t understand the behavior. I have two other kids and they wouldn’t think of pulling that crap.
     
  12. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    And make absolutely, positively sure that those you plan on raising the kids are in on the deal. Our next-door neighbors had a very bad day years ago when his sister and BIL both drowned on a kayaking trip. It soon became much, much worse when they found out his sister and BIL named them as guardians to their three children without informing them. HH
     
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  13. light-switch

    light-switch Back to work...

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    Victimless crime my ass.

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
     
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  14. Rinspeed

    Rinspeed JAFO

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    That’s a lot to go through, prayers to all in your family.
     
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  15. rotorhead1026

    rotorhead1026

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    A consult with a legal practice that covers estate and family law would be my choice. All you can do is the best you can.
     
  16. sarge83

    sarge83

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    My daughter got pregnant at 17, straight A student who didn't listen to the talk from Mom. The donor is a lowlife who wants to play daddy when it's convenient and show off his son but doesn't want to really do anything to help. My daughter didn't put the donors name on the birth certificate and wanted nothing to do with him. He demanded a court ordered DNA test and got limited visitation rights. The donors mom is a drug mule and pill head and the granny is bat crap mentally ill crazy, still his grandparents end up watching the child when he has visitation. He still didn't get his name on the birth certificate!

    My wife and I work between us three jobs and pay for the day care and anything else my daughter can't afford. She graduated high school on time, worked as a waitress many times well past midnight and we kept the baby and she is still working a job and going to college, stays on the deans list and just entered a nursing program in college and looks to graduate in about a year and a half. Me and my oldest son and youngest son, uncles, male cousins and my Dad have tried to be a strong positive male influence in the little fellows life since daddy aka the donor is useless. The little guy is a little over three years old and in that time the donor has maybe being generous given my daughter $1000 toward raising his son.
     
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  17. Gonzoso

    Gonzoso

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    Thats rough, my son's mom is mostly out of the picture. She sees him every other weekend. I take care of his housing, insurance, food, toys, childcare, etc. I have primary custody, she doesn't pay squat. She paid $100 a month for seven months last year but nothing since 10/19.

    I can't get blood from a stone though so I let it be and pay for everything.
     
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  18. cougar_ml

    cougar_ml

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    My parents are raising my nieces because their mother was on drugs. Dad has children from multiple other women as well, but last I heard he was in jail for multiple violations including statutory rape I believe. It's not that he's a terrible person, he's just criminally stupid.

    They are also providing my sister with a vehicle, and making her house payments, fuel, utilities, and groceries.
    This is after she got 100k into debt for getting a teaching degree.

    On the plus side, they are old enough to understand most of what's going on, I think they were 8 and 9 when it happened (might have been a year or two either way, I don't keep track of ages very well, not even my own)

    Their mother goes to meetings, and has apparently cleaned up her act when it comes to drugs. It's the rest of her life that needs sorted out, and she just can't seem to be bothered to do anything about it.
     
  19. RenoF250

    RenoF250

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    It is so frustrating to watch people make such stupid decisions. The girls really bother me because I was never popular with the ladies, I was too much of a nerd I guess. Well now I have money and they live in a dump. What did the dirtbags give them? Do their brains work at all?

    OP, have you considered adoption? I guess it would be very hard now, you are probably quite attached to the little guy.
     
  20. Z71bill

    Z71bill

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    Not the same thing -

    Wife and I take care of our grandkids - 4.5 and 2.5 - while their parents are at work.


    So 7am - 4pm Monday - Friday.

    They bought a house a couple blocks from our house - a 5 minute walk. That really helps.

    I also have a 3rd grand baby on the way- March or April.

    We have been doing this since they were born - and it is the absolute best thing about my life - and I had a pretty good life before the grandkids came along.

    We also see the “kids” ever Saturday and Sunday- feel sad if I don’t see them everyday.

    Maybe this makes me a crummy parent but I have spent way more time with my grandkids then I did with my own kids- I worked all the time-


    I would not give up this time for a billion dollars.


    But hell yes it also feels pretty good some days to go home after my daughter takes over and just relax.

    If I had to I would take over full time because no way I would let them go into the “system”.