Anyone else dealing with aged/sick/dementia parent(s)?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by MB-G26, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Extraneous Lifetime Member

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    The trips to my dad's skilled nursing center, memory care unit, are getting more and more difficult. His dementia and the mind-related effects of Parkinson's are worse and worse.

    Anyone dealing w/similar, either personally or professionally?

    *sigh*
     
  2. kcb

    kcb Southern Lady

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    I have an Aunt, my mom's sister. It has been totally a heart breaking experience.

    You have my sympathy, Mel. It's a tough thing to go through! The toughest thing ever!

    :hugs: :hearts:
     

  3. Vic303

    Vic303 Senior Member

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  4. Str8shootr

    Str8shootr Guest

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    Been there done that!

    Lost my Father last year (March) after a year long battle with colon cancer that had spread thru him. No fun. But I figured, hey, I have seen people my age (55) go thru this it is my turn. When the downward slide took effect, I just chose to spoil him and spend as much time with him as I could. He spent the last 8 weeks in a nursing home, when we just couldn't take care of him anymore. He knew what was going on, and being a WWII vet, he was tough old bird.
    Anyway, my older sis and I were with him when he passed. Sad day yes. But the emotions I had were ones of relief. I couldn't do anything or concentrate for about a week, then my wits slowly came back.

    Unexpectedly lost Mom last October. She was frail and on oxygen/walker for a few years, but seemed to get around ok. I think she gave up after Dad left us. Her passing was not expected so soon.

    I am fortunate enough to have 3 loving sisters and we all get along very well. We all rallied when we needed to. I can't speak highly enough of the Hospice service people.

    If you can, stay close to your friends and family. Try to get some time to yourself and try not to obsess. Looking back on the whole thing, I have a great deal of self satisfaction for all the time I spent and things I did for my parents. The memories I have now, are mostly the good/fun times.

    Good luck to you in this difficult time of your life.
     
  5. Mrs. VR

    Mrs. VR Sharon, you will be missed.

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    Mel, your dad is so lucky to have you. :hugs:
     
  6. kcb

    kcb Southern Lady

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    God Bless you! That had to be very hard, to lose both of your parents like that. :angel:

    We lost my dad to Pancreatic Cancer 14 years ago; he was too young to go so soon! Our blessing was that he was diagnosed May 2 and gone by May 26th. So, he didn't have a long battle; but his short battle was tough to see!

    Mel, it's never easy...long or short. My best friend from my childhood lost her father in an instant death, and her mother suffered for years. My dad was like a second father to her. When my dad died, she hugged me, and said, there is much to be said for a quick death. Her mom was in the hospital twice while my Daddy was dying in the same hospital. She still lived another 10 years after him. She was sick when HER dad died in 1979.

    We never know the reason why it happens the way it happens. Perhaps they still have things they must do here!

    God bless you through this time!

    :hugs: :hearts: :angel: :angel: :angel:
     
  7. MB-G26

    MB-G26 Extraneous Lifetime Member

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    I got a call from my local sister a couple hrs. ago. She'd just gotten home from work and retrieved her snail mail - therein was a letter from the Skilled Nursing Facility our father is in, informing us that his periodic "Care Plan Meeting" (which *I* always attend) is taking place TOMMORROW - Thurs. 8/2, and to please "rsvp" if someone will be attending. :steamed: :brickwall:

    1st of all, they didn't even mail the darn notice until 7/31!!

    2nd of all, but the time a daytime hours working person gets their residential snail mail, it's LONG past the time of day where the idiot "Social Services Director" has already left her office.

    3rd, "rsvp" request in a letter that arrives the day before the mtg?, and

    4th, the letter doesn't even state what TIME of day on 8/2 the meeting is supposedly taking place.

    5th, I am the family member who handles these, and it's been that way for going on two years that he's been a resident there!.

    6th, I am still chained to the teliot with my colitis flare-up, which sent me to Urgent Care twice (and nearly a 3rd time) while I was up in Flag. It took the better part of last week through the weekend to get it under enough control that I could make it long enough in between each rest-stop bathroom location on the way home to actually get home. The stupid Esquirt's tags are expired as of 7/31, it has to go to emissions before I can even renew them, thanks to the colitis I obviously ran out of time, and the AC still doesn't work (keep in mind Az summer heat!). To keep the engine from overheating, I have to insert and remove a 30 amp fuse into a temporary jump wire/relay thingie just to make the "radiator cooling fan" actually RUN - otherwise the car fully overheats in about 6 mins.

    ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  8. kcb

    kcb Southern Lady

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    Couldn't she call you AND send a confirmation in the mail, or e-mail your correspondence?

    Since you have so many complications at this time, is there anyway you could conduct a phone conference with them. (This would be an issue I'd discuss if it causes problems for you to make the meetings. When school is in session, I have limits on my time and have to schedule other appointments around those limits, too!)

    Sorry, Mel!

    :hugs: