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Any truck driver/ninjas here? stories?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by bno762, Mar 19, 2010.

  1. bno762

    bno762

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    I travel the country in my 17 wheeler delivering Americas goods in a safe and timely fashion. I sometimes have to intervene to save the sheeple that I have decided to protect. To perform this service for my fellow country men I use my skills in ninjary, reciept checking,
    and blading.

    In my travels as a "vigilante truck driver" I have came into contact with the scum of the earth. Many times I have almost pooped myself from the hairy situations I have encountered. I have developed a technique that I call "tactical pant soiling" which will be discussed in the tactics and training section og GT.

    Gotta go my virgin mobile prepaid cell is ringing and off to save America. Bno the truck driving ninja out.
     
  2. Annoyedgrunt

    Annoyedgrunt Dry Heat my ASS

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    So, so many here want to talk the talk and reap the accolades, but God bless the few true warriors that are out there beyond the wire. Thank you for what you do, Sir. :patriot:
     

  3. mymini40

    mymini40

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    :shocked:Are you sure you have a 17 wheeler? I thought they come in even numbers like....18 wheeler etc.
     
  4. Von Hayes

    Von Hayes

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    [​IMG][​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2010
  5. Ol Timer

    Ol Timer ↓ hog hunter ↓ Millennium Member

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    Not for me. It's a young man's game. Stopping for wings five times a day would really cut into my profits. Not so much the eating, but stopping 20 minutes down the road after each helping just would just be a PITA (no pun intended).

    Besides, most of the girls on the docks could kick my *** without breathing hard.

    Stay loaded, bno!
     
  6. bno762

    bno762

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    Annoyed grunt- thank you for your ....thank you to me.

    I plan to go into a discussion of my many tools of the trade. Most notably is my glock 7 and my glock carbine. But on a lighter note another story of my .....greatness involves me and an unloaded shotty.

    I had stopped to check the doors of a warehouse that I frequently pick up at. When I discovered bandits had illegally entered and were pillfering the goods of this place I knew right then that it was up to me to put a stop to their villanous ways! All I had at the time was an unloaded shotty that didn't have any ammo. I chased the bandits around the warehouse pumping the action of my shotty and scaring these evil, interspecies erotica practicing terrorists out the door. I was quite the sight.

    I leave you all to bask in my greatness for my vmpp device is ringing...bno out.
     
  7. farley45

    farley45

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    Poser...

    You probably can't even bend air.:tongueout:
     
  8. bno762

    bno762

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    Very astute observation, mymini40.
    I sold that tire to buy clips for my g7 and some 45 caliber ammo for my 9mm.
     
  9. MO Fugga

    MO Fugga Malt Liqra® Lifetime Member

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    Which tunnel to Mexico is best?
     
  10. badr1

    badr1

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    truer a patriot has never lived. On behalf of myself and glocktalkians everywhere THANK YOU SIR
     
  11. Annoyedgrunt

    Annoyedgrunt Dry Heat my ASS

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    Wow, you're braver than I am. I don't even HAVE a shotgun, but I've scared off many intruders with my laptop playing the shotgun_racking.wmv with the volume turned all the way up.

    It's worked so far, but one day my number might be up. I really need to look into getting a real firearm.
     
  12. bno762

    bno762

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    That is all you need AG. They sound will continue to make the vermin of this world evacute their bowels. Its been working for thousands of years since the first shotty was invented by Mr. Arnold Schott came up with the idea.

    If you ever do decide to buy a real gun let me know. I am planning on holding tactical gun courses for the uninitiated(I call them newbs). Now I know you were a marine but I'm talkin about techniques I have honed into the greatest killing methods from weeks of magazines and online research.
    Bno out...
     
  13. IndyGunFreak

    IndyGunFreak

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    LOL... I love it...

    Threads that spin off other threads, rule!

    IGF
     
  14. MO Fugga

    MO Fugga Malt Liqra® Lifetime Member

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    BNO... is anyone written in to teach the Bass Boat Pipe Bomb Deployment course? PM me...:rofl:If that ain't available, I can show the newbz how to kill people with phone books and soggy french fries...
     
  15. bno762

    bno762

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    So I was heading down i35 headed to a warehouse that ships out life size anatomically correct female dolls.....one of my favorite shippers. Anyways as I headed to the shipper I kept myself in a tactical awarness level 73. I have developed a system of awarness levels that number from 1(no need to kill anybody...but keeping alert) to 100(kill em all and let allah sort em out). So I'm driving along at level 1 wondering if maybe just maybe I can make it thru 1 day without having to use my ak...then it would be a good day. This day I was at level 73 because I had a feeling in my high speed low drag tummy. Turns out I was lucky to trust my tactical situational awarness.

    All of a sudden I noticed a man and woman driving along and I immediately knew something was wrong....the woman was driving. Using my tactically trained brain I deduced that the woman must be being held against her will and being forced to drive for this guy.... I mean how many men would let a woman drive?! So I immediately began following them. When I figured I would make my move when and if they got off the road for a potty break or something.

    After about 15 minutes of following they finally exited the interstate. I kept a distance of 10 to 15 feet at all times so as to remain inconspicuous. When the car pulled into a Dennys parking lot I knew this was going to be my time to shine. As I pulled past them looking for a place to park my big rig I almost blew my cover. The perp was looking at me kinda funny almost as if to ask"WTF?".

    I pulled down the street and let them go inside first. I followed and witnessed just how much control this guy had over the lady. She was acting like they were a couple and they were out for a Sunday breakfast. I knew right then I was going to take this guy down....HARD.

    I imagine y'all know what happened next. I went in...ate a moons over my hammy.2 belgian waffles, and 2 sides of hashbrowns. Then I decided to wait til they left the Dennys before I really made my move. I walked up behind the guy using a stalking technique I developed after many years of sneaking up on exgirlfreinds. I yelled out "Get away from that lady" at the top of my voice. I did this to startle him and hopefully give her a chance to get away. When the perp turned around I shoved him and proceeded to head butt his fists as hard as humanly possible.

    When I awoke I knew everything was ok. Nobody was around but when I asked the paramedics what happened to the abducted lady they said "what abducted lady". I thought to myself "another win for the good guys".

    Bno out.
     
  16. MO Fugga

    MO Fugga Malt Liqra® Lifetime Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    OKIE whooped yer ***...

    And took your cargo of:

    [​IMG]


    Dude looks inflatable... :rofl:
     
  17. bno762

    bno762

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    Where did you learn of the soggy frie death punch? I learned directly from Master Ronald himself.
     
  18. bno762

    bno762

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    So there I was, stalk... I mean I was doing surveilance on a suspected dope house. 4 rough thug types come strolling by looking at me all funny. I got that tingly sensation down my spine and reflexively reached for my hi-point urban tactical low cap 9mm loaded with fang face extreme shock ammo. These thugs ended up being boy scouts selling some kind of fund raiser tickets. Little did they know how close they came to being drawn down on with my lightening fast reflexes. Luckily nothing happened and I allowed the thugs to live another day.

    Allthough this story didn't end with me killing, beating someone up, or tactically soiling myself I use it as a way to show you to stay alert. Those 9 and 10 year olds could just as easily been a druggy lookin to kill me and sell my corpse to fund his next high..a terrorist trying to enter into martyrdom, a walmart employee wanting to see my receipt, or a chupacabra. You never know what's out there. Bno out.
     
  19. badr1

    badr1

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    you must teach me your ways Mr.Bno
     
  20. bno762

    bno762

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    I may start taking on students. But I have to warn you the way of the urban truck driving ninja is filled with hazards and sacrafice. Be patient young grass hopper.

    Bno out.