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Any Funny Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ILVBLKGUNS, May 28, 2003.

  1. ILVBLKGUNS

    ILVBLKGUNS

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    Anyone have in funny jokes?;i ;i ;i
     
  2. MarksGlock22

    MarksGlock22 The Punisher

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    You might like to check the "Lighter Side" forum. It is dedicated to jokes and humor.
     

  3. XD9SW99

    XD9SW99 OOoooo Allah

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    I got a joke for ya...

    A duck goes into the store and says to the clerk "Got any grapes?"
    The clerk shakes his head. "No, I won't have any in till Friday."
    The duck walks off. The next day, the duck goes in to the store and says to the clerk. "So, got any grapes?" The clerk rolls his eyes and says "No, I told you yesterday we won't have any till friday." The duck walks off. The next day, he goes back in to the store and says to the clerk "Hey buddy, got any grapes?" the clerk is turning red. He grabs the duck by the throat. "Look here, Duck, You've come in here three days in a row now asking for grapes. I told you, I won't have any in till FRIDAY. Come back in this store again asking for grapes and I'll nail your feet to the floor!" He drops the duck, who rubs his neck and walks out. The next day the duck waddles in to the store, slides up to the clerk, and says "Hey pal, you got any nails?" The clerk shakes his head. "Nope." The duck gets a big grin on his face. "Well then, you got any grapes?"
     
  4. MarksGlock22

    MarksGlock22 The Punisher

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    I am so tired, that was funny. ;i
     
  5. eotp

    eotp

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    I ain't that tired yet.
     
  6. Drjones

    Drjones

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    What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?




    Well, one's a sick duck, and I forget the rest but your mother's a whore!

    ;a
     
  7. smeet5150

    smeet5150 Southern Son

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    :) :)
     
  8. MarksGlock22

    MarksGlock22 The Punisher

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    HAHA!! ;i
     
  9. Bannack

    Bannack

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    So.... ;2 Do you have any grapes man?, I want my GRAPES!
     
  10. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    An old-timer walks into town after months of prospecting for gold. All he wanted in the world was a cool drink, and a shot of whiskey. Well, this smart assed young gun fighter decided he'd do it his way.

    "Hey, you crusty old desert rat, you better move that mangy old mule away from the saloon, cause you both stink," yells the young gun fighter. "Don't bother me, boy, I been out in the desert a long time, and I want a drink," says the old man.

    "Well, if you can't move, you can at least dance," yells the young pistolero. He draws his gun, and BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM,BLAM, And the old man does dance, six times.

    After the sixth step, the old man reaches into his possibles bag, and drags out a short barrel 10 ga. Greener, and asks the gun fighter if he had ever kissed a sweaty, nasty, mean tempered missouri mule square on the butt. "Well, no sir," says the young man, "but I always thought I'd like to try it."
     
  11. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    Lady walked into a bar, with a duck on her shoulder, and ordered a drink.

    Bartender asks, "Where'd you get the pig?"

    The lady reminds him that it's a duck

    "I was talking to the duck," says the bartender.



    _____________________________________________

    THE ABSOLUTE LONGEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS NORMALLY A SHORTCUT

    NEVER SLAP A MAN THAT'S CHEWING TOBACCO

    Can anyone tell me how to make this little footnote thingie permanent? Eric has shown me three times, and then I don't do it right away...They tell me that as you approach sixty, the memory is the second thing to go.................................BILL
     
  12. Glock Guru

    Glock Guru FIREARMS DEALER

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    A grasshopper walks into a bar, the grasshopper tells the bartender "i'll have a rum & coke". The bartender tells the grasshopper "you know there is a drink named after you"? The grasshopper says "realy, there a drink named Murray"? ;f ;f