No you are not selfish from wanting a little time to yourself. 1 - Ration time equally among the kidlettes' afterschool events. 2 - Tell the wife she needs to reduce she spending so that you will not need to work so many hours. (As if this would ever happen.) 3 - You really can say no to helping out other people, if your time is in such short supply. I worked my self into a bout of major depression/exhaustion doing horse-crap that I was goat-roped into - Never again. I never got into sports either. I like to do work with my hands. I fondly remember the father/son time building the model railroad together. I think driving kids to play soccer is based heavily in 'Soccermommy' culture. It's more about showing off her kids and her stuff (that you paid for) to Buffy and Biffy. The adult social meeting. All the ladies are jockeying for Alpha Mommy status among their peers.